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The world is, we are being repeatedly told, going back to a thing the maskless call normal.
But also, we get to go to the movies again, so thats cool.
The thing is, you see, weve all forgotten how to go to movie theaters.
Weve in fact forgotten how to be around other people entirely.
Weve simply lost the ability to engage in the social act of film viewing.
So, as in all troubled times, we turn to the skies.
And no one did it better thanMST3K.
Or, should I say, does.
After all, creator Joel Hodgson just Kickstarted enough moneyfor a new season of the show.
He does so with the help of witty robots.
Weirdly, the past year and a half has made this relatable content.
But now, we need it more than ever.
Because space robots never say die and neither do MSTies.
But first, we need to get some much-needed riffery out of our systems.
These are 25 episodes ofMST3Kready for you to stream.
You may cry a little; this is normal.
Then youll be ready to go to the theater and shut the hell up.
But with Joel, Mike, Jonah, and the bots, your silence is not required.
Riff on, you shiny diamonds.
OK sign It stinks.
Watch it and know that Kim Cattrall chose to do this andnot theSex and the Cityreboot.
But if you think yourself ready, brave, made of stronger stuff, then go for it.
May your spirit be as fearless as Torgos knees are puffy.
Because theyre really, really puffy.
It also features the cherub-faced Arch Hall Jr. busting out some gentle jams.
Youll need them as a palate cleanser.
He joins the mafia, kills a guy, then blames you.
Then they make it the title of a movie.
This is a cautionary tale.
Roger Corman accidentally made a kind of progressive film.
Old West patriarchy smashing, who knew?
Joe Don Baker is a cop who takes on the mob.
Frankly, its unclear.
Hatton had acromegaly and appeared in films that used his appearance as a form of horror.
(Available onTubi)
Escape 2000(Episode 705)
Okay, picture it.
ItsEscape From New York, but starring Italians pretending to be American.
There, I sold you.
A meteor full of spiders lands in Wisconsin and spiders are just, like, everywhere.
They get very big, hence the title, and only middle-aged scientists can stop it.
This is kind of that, only with short shorts and Peter Graves.
Clones are raised to be used as body parts for their rich and very white counterparts.
One finds out and shenanigans and lobotomies ensue.
(Available onTubiandPluto)
Prince of Space(Episode 816)
A secret-identity Japanese-superhero space movie?
Yes and yo and make it a double.
Honestly, youre safe choosing any episode ofMST3Kthat involves dubbed children.
(Available onTubiandPluto)
Devil Doll(Episode 818)
This movie has everything.
Ghosts trapped in the bodies of dolls.
The Great Vorelli uses his ventriloquist dummy to pick up women.
This movie is more science fiction than it knows.
I am fine with this.
(Available onTubi)
Time Chasers(Episode 821)
A professor (at CASTLETON!)
invents a time machine in his adorable baby airplane and immediately ruins the world because of course he does.
And really, what else do you gotta know?
Powers like flying and seeing in the dark.
You know, standard puma stuff.
Anyway, watch Wurwolf, its great.
(Their dreams involve fighting an average white man, procuring a sex worker, and blowing oneself up.
Dream big, kids, dream big.
This is my favorite episode of all time.
A witch was burned at the stake.
Her sister is her great-grandmother.
She falls in love with a boring man.
This is where the fish lives.
Thats really all you’re gonna wanna know.
Youre all caught up.
A woman follows her dream of becoming a go-go dancer for an abusive, leering drug dealer.
People have really great dreams in these movies.
(Available onTubi)
