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This post spoils every single thing aboutAnatomy of a Scandal.
Instead, at moments of heightened emotion or sudden shock, the otherwise hyperserious drama shifts into slow-motion surrealism.
Characters are blown backward as though theyve been struck with a wrecking ball.
Sometimes they circle one another in a darkened, empty courtroom, eyes locked.
Let me set it up for you.
yo be aware that this is where I spoil everything that happens in the show.
Michelle Dockery plays Kate Woodcroft, an ambitious and determined prosecutor.
Everyone around her keeps saying things like I dont know.
This case is going to be difficult!
and Are you sure this is the right course of action?
This modern-day story line is intercut with flashbacks to when Sophie and James were students at Oxford.
got up to some pretty dark stuff.
Yeah, I know.
But hang on, because theres more.
James was accused of rape as a student, but that accusation was mysteriously made to go away.
And wouldnt you know it the student James is accused of having raped?
None other than Holly Berry.
After that traumatizing experience, Holly transfers to another school and Sophie never hears from her again.
Yes, okay, the last line.
Now comes the most obvious and overdetermined, shocking twist in recent TV memory.
She changed her name after the rape but also, presumably, because her name was Holly Berry.
Merry Christmas, Holly Berry!
Its a final line that would go so well in some other context.
Its a beautiful, perfect capper for a Hallmark Christmas movie starring Candace Cameron Bure.
Even some of your more, lets say,tonally ambitiousdramas couldve made it work.
Imagine an episode ofSmashthat ended with Anjelica Huston dryly quipping, Merry Christmas, Holly Berry.
Or you know what wouldve been perfect?
There are really only two options for a line like this.
And, obviously, Christmas has to be involved somehow.
One would assume this goes without saying.
Merry Christmas, Holly Berry does not land like a fun reminder that its been Christmas this whole time.
Is it meant to be funny?
Is it meant to be sweet?
Is it meant to be sort of wry and knowing but then it completely fails?
Is it meant to be darkly humorous?
Or maybe darkly triumphant?
Then, I decided, no.
It should not have happened!
