Below Deck
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Its a silly title, sure (and who ever said anything aboutbig?
), but this really is Jamess episode.
When a producer calls him on it during his confessional, he says hes loyal.
As Ashling points out, you didnt even ask how she was doing with her UTI!
Ashling thinks her stomach bug will be fine without a checkup, which feels a bit silly to me.
If theyre bringing this doctor onboard, theres no reason to play all strong and work through it.
Dr. Williamss first patient is Elizabeth, who says she could be sexually active when asked.
(Doesnt it violate some sort of doctor-patient-confidentiality thing for Bravo to be filming this??)
Next is Rachel, who is going to need IV therapy for some bad gastroenteritis.
But Dr. Williams has some pills for her in the meantime, too.
We simply have to stan Dr. Williams.
Otherwise, the entire day happens in nearly a blink.
We dont even get to see lunch!
Just Justin flirting with Ashling right in the galley (whats he doing there anyway?)
and Gigi the dog accidentally shitting right on the deck.
And that doesnt include the shit James is stirring between Elizabeth and Ashling.
Elizabeth promptly leaves but later asks Ashling to let her know if she ends up thinking James likes her.
Just a casual little Let me know!
Which is honestly quite a shitty response!
James wonders in his confessional.
In other news, Izzy has been promoted to lead deckhand!
Thats up to you, Eddie says.
One Malia White would certainly beg to differ.
She complains to Rachel about this during dessert prep, and its Rachels big I told you so moment.
Dessert is tiramisu cannoli, and they look divine.
But she makes the absolute rookie boatmance mistake of asking James to meet herover the radio!
But how many more times can this keep happening?
Even hes over it now.
But not yet, because there are still guests on this boat, and they are ordering eggs.
And thats the end of the chapter on these generic guests!
Theyre fine tippers, too, leaving $17,000, or about $1,400 apiece.
Youre fucking cleaning up a beach.
Why are you thinking about drinking?
James:Because Im cleaning up a beach.
Izzy:Think about doing something good for the world, you little shit.
That said, the beach cleanup seems to go well, and everyone else enjoys it!
Shane wouldve loved this if he had a chance of lasting this far into the season.
Good for you, but you just got here!
On deck, the boys adopt that same patronizing tone that Malias deck crew gave her Whatever you say!
and seem to have lost whatever common sense about their positions theyve had.
Like, get over yourselves and do your fucking jobs!
Francesca hears something too and asks Ashling, who promptly spills what she knows.
But did she sleep in the cabin?
Yeah, but I was up.
But did she sleep in the cabin??
Um, we were in the cabin.
But did she sleep in the cabin???
Uh, I wouldnt say it was like sleeping.
BUT DID SHE SLEEP IN THE CABIN???
Yes, I was sitting on the bed!
And were left with that baffling performance!
Next week, the Queen of Versailles returns, and Lee might actually fire Elizabeth for this.
Tips
Rob once had a dog named Kaia Rocky Falafel McFrodyface.
(I think I got that right?)
As far as COVID goes, this episode is weird.
And on top of it all, Captain Lee shakes hands with the beach-cleanup organizers.
I know hindsight is twenty-twenty here, but come on!
Yes, Rachelreally wasonAmericas Next Top Model!
