Chilling Adventures of Sabrina
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Sabrina is running for student council president alongside Roz on a platform of unity, empathy, and inclusivity.
But maybe not since she is STILL 16-going-on-17?
She still fails to grasp the obvious and cannot prioritize to save her life and/or the world.
And Brinas like, how am I supposed to get into Vassar with nothing on my resume?
Thats assuming there is still a Vassar in the days to come, is Ambroses (not unreasonable!)
But Sabrina is undeterred.
Now Sabrina wants to go toVassar?
Can someone hey teach these teens about responsible time management?
Harvey is awfully shocked for someone who, as far as we can tell, has exclusively dated witches.
and Theo cutely suggests Robin might know a sexy goblin for Harvey to date instead.)
An old-timey guy walks through Blackwoods church doors and introduces himself by saying I come bearing wares.
WHAT CENTURY ARE WE IN.
Blackwood calls this guy, to his face and with all sincerity, the trinket man.
Like maybe dont walk around with it in your suitcase, Trinket Man!
So: Praise Blackwood!
So Baxter High is now Blackwood High, and all the boys are Blackwood youths.
Even Wardwell is in a military-style outfit.
(How do we feel about the three-space-buns hairstyle?)
History class is all about The Best Times We Murdered Witches.
Witches, Blackwood has informed this brainwashed public, eat babies and flesh and such.
She introduces herself as Samantha.
Blackwood is also flanked by his twins, one of whom is holding the Imp trinket.
I assume the shattering of said trinket will restore our reality?
Blackwood announces that theres a witch in the room and its ROBIN GOODFELLOW.
The only two folks in Greendale who are immune to Blackwoods brain warp are Sabrina and Roz.
Over at casa Spellman, the house is vandalized and quite run down.
When Ambrose sees Sabrina/Samantha, he insists he has no cousin anddoesnt know her.
At the Academy, she flirts with Nick not even those glasses can stand between them!
and discovers that Zelda, too, has no idea who Sabrina is.
No one gets to have babies on Blackwoods watch!
Zelda makes her choir perform for Blackwood, but Nick refuses to sing along.
Brina get over yourself and date him again!).
But Blackwood drags him away anyway.
Brina tells the Academy that they are all, in fact, a coven of powerful witches.
She appeals to Zeldas sweetest, tenderest memory that her familiar was a beagle named Vinegar Tom, cute!
and Zelda tells Brina to go to Dr. Cs bookstore and ask for a very specific book.
At the edge of town, Ambrose steels himself, leaves Greendale, and ta da!
gets all his memories back.
He gives Ambrose the Stone of Reality, which could restore reality, as long as youre clever!
Robin Goodfellow speeds by, here to assist.
Good on you, Agatha.
Like in folklore, she says.
But before this can happen, Harvey and that other Greendale boy (Billy?)
Roz and Nick are on what look like rope stretching machines,Princess Bridestyle.
Instead they will be… crushed by giant stones!
Except: It wasnt the real imp.
She yells the truth: Emperor Blackwood is a witch.
All the witches around her freeze him in place.
She says the real imp is in a safe at Dorians, which Robin speedily procures.
As Sabrina frees Nick, he asks her, who are you, really?
And she says, A friend, and he goes, Ahotfriend.
Brina wishes on the imp and nothing happens.
Turns out that was also not the imp.
The real imp was inside (or actually is?
unclear) the beautiful enormous dog that has been at Blackwoods side this whole time.
Really into the dog theme running through this episode.
However, since no one on this show ever dies, he will probably be fine.
Brina and Roz are back at Baxter High.
Agathas brain is warped again.
The world is as it was: Spiritually 1965, technically the present day.
As expected, Blackwood isnt quite dead.
Instead hes been, I think, beheaded and gagged?
Not sure whats up with his body or what hell get into next.
But lets focus on what really matters to me: Nick and Sabrina.
Joke-flirt all you want, Sabrina, he tells her.
But we obviously still have feelings for each other.
Ongoing mysteries:Can anyone explain to me what the deal is with Blackwood?
Will anyone ever actually die on this show?
