Cobra Kai
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Oh, I know.
Lets set this one at Christmas!
And lets have the score be heavy-metal versions of Christmas classics.
(There better be Funny Bones.)
He reenters the house via the kitchen window when the Cobras throw him through it and storm the house.
Hope you dont mind if we crash.
All the mini-fights going on in twos and threes are a little hard to follow but badass nonetheless.
Bring in the redshirts.
Give us all the karate this shitty soundstage house can possibly handle.
Thats when Sam picks up the bo staff and suddenly its Donatello vs. Michelangelo.
Im sorry, but Ill take Donatello every time in that matchup.
And thats when the tide starts to turn in all the matchups.
Miguel finally gets the karate spirit and clobbers Slim Trevor in the kitchen.
Sam turns the tables on Tory, and the Madonna-whore duality is once again restored.
The Cobras finally limp out of the LaRusso home, not entirely defeated but certainly chastened.
Youre more alike than you want to admit, says Ali, the lady who has shagged them both.
Maybe you recognized parts of yourself in each other and you dont really like what you see.
I needed this, he tells her, and she answers, I did too.
I think Ali is lying.
Shes a recent divorcee out with a hot piece of single zaddy.
I mean, Johnny and Carmen have boned once.
They havent had the conversation.
Johnnys D is still fair game, Ali.
Dont give up so easily.
Seriously, why is everyone always showing up unannounced in the wee hours at this place?
Has Kreese figured it out yet?
Has he not learned how to lock his doors?
Captain Crunch is like, Its over, Kreese.
Kreese is totally sick of this guys shit and says, Youre right.
I didnt follow your orders.
I wont make that mistake again.
He kicks him down to get bitten like the eraser on an Adderall addicts No.
2 pencil during the SAT.
Thats how Cobra Kai was born.
But the difference between Kreese and Johnny is that Kreese never learned from this experience.
Hes still perpetuating No Mercy even though it hasnt served him well.
And what the heck does dominating the tournament do for them, anyway?
What does Kreese hope to win from all this?
Johnny starts giving Kreeses body double a lickin while Robby stands by and does absolutely nothing.
There he is, ladies and gentlemen, Johnny Lawrence, father of the century.
Seriously, Daniel cant even take out Grandpa Abe over here?
Daniel tells Kreese to keep Cobra Kai away from their kids.
Kreese responds, Its a free country.
Seriously, dude, what?
That is not what you say in this situation.
Thats what you say when someone says, Hey, would you mind not whistling anymore?
Then you retort, Its a free country, because, yes, whistling is annoying but not illegal.
Its not like we live in a barren wasteland full of amoral ragamuffins.
You know, like Australia.
Kreese then proposes to end this the old-fashioned way: with a tournament.
This confirms what we already knew, thatwere getting a season four.
After all, they cant just end this on a proposed tournament and never show us the tournament!
Thats not the only mystery were left with.
Hes about to ask him for a favor, but just who is this guy?
Were out of old actors from theKarate Kidmovies.
Is it the dad of Hilary Swanks character fromKarate Kid III: This Time With a Girl?
Or maybe its Conor McGregor or, I dont know, Vince McMahon?
She needs to be on this show.
But the episode ends with a message of unity.
Yes, Robby stays with Kreese and once again rejects his fathers, both biological and chosen.
