Dangerous Liaisons
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I get it, maam!
Getting a bucket of pigs blood thrown on you will make you nervous about going out again.
Jacqueline is extra nervous because, as she tells her husband, she thinks she recognizes the servant girl.
The showrunners continue to ruin my Carolbut make it 18th-century theory.
Way to make it weird, Montrachet!
), and Jacqueline threw Camille out.
If we ignore the mother comment, my initial theory wasmuchbetter.
You really have to pay attention to this show.
That motive makeswaymore sense than just trying to get back with Camille.
He saysFine, I wont seduce Jacqueline after alland walks away.
Something I very much enjoyed in this episode is the growing bromance between Camille and Valmont.
At the Merteuil residence, we get some Florence Foster Jenkinslevel singing from Emilie, Sevignys daughter.
I watched it four times.
Also, I see you, showrunners, with your consistent love of opera.
Im not here to say operas just another way to rap, but … Im notnotsaying that.
The show is very fun, though, so I dont care.
She has to get dirt on his stepmother, and hell continue going after Jacqueline.
The vicomtesse is all about this idea for some reason.
She advises Camille to destroy everything and everyone that stands between her and her goal.
Damn, eighteenth century!
Again, we know OG Camille eventually becomes the Marquise de Merteuil, buthow?
Before we look to that, though!
How is Valmont faring with Jacqueline de Montrachet?
Hes still pretending to be pious and love God the most.
Valmont follows Jacqueline to the Foreign Mission, where a nun pleads for donations for the people they serve.
What a great movie.
After he quotesone bible verse, she calls him a man of genuine faith.
You deserve to be tricked.
(I do not mean it, but OMG.)
He cant find someone to marry because he needs someone who understands that God is his no.
Valmont invites Jacqueline to pray, and while shes praying the rosary, he holds her hand.
Understandably scandalized, she runs away.
Id say this wouldnt work in the age of the internet, but I think we know it would.
Okay, lets get on to the sex dungeon.
I do wish the club was called something else.
I know the Hellfire Club was taken, but thats soevocative.
The Labyrinth sounds like a virtual reality game parlor in a strip mall.
Camille dresses like a man, and she and Valmont buy their way into The Labyrinth.
Victoire waits outside and hires a carriage for their inevitably necessary quick getaway.
Look, whatever floats your boat.
Right away, Camille sees Ariadne, who discovers that Camille is in disguise.
Butasthey bang, Ariadne gives Camille info.
Really, really secret and important info?
And, like, she gives it up really easily.
Camille must be absolutely amazing at sex.
She learns that the marquiss link to The Labyrinth is that HE OWNS IT.
He uses the sex workers (forced sex workers, it seems?
Since Ariadne talks about them earning their freedom?)
to learn secrets about the patrons, which he can then use.
Valmont and Camille laugh and Valmont refers to their future adventures.
Camille asks him, is that not what brothers do?
and ordered them to leave.
But sucks to be you, marquis, because Camille doesnt need your old burned-up letter now.
You dont know me, Camille tells him.
Victoire sighs heavily (favorite), and we immediately cut to the credits as Der Holle Rache plays!
Its Camilles theme song!
How will Camille acquire the Merteuil name?
How will she and Valmont take down the very impressive vicomtesse?
And when will Gabriel stop being the creepiest man ever to live?
GET IT TOGETHER, GABRIEL.
