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But John PasquinsThe Santa Clause, starring Tim Allen, became an unexpected Christmas classic anyway.
I never told a soul, remarked one commenter.
It was a secret I kept myself.
Like those whod read Nedds piece, Id never spoken of my childhood infatuation withThe Santa Clauses Head Elf.
It wasnt just that I wanted to date Bernard the Elf I wanted tobehim.
In coming-of-age films, theres usually a moment when the protagonist sees the target of their affection.
Everything slows down and something like Boys Wanna Be Her by Peaches plays.
As a child, the person I pictured in this scene was Bernard the Elf.
He was the epitome of cool everything I wanted and wanted to be.
I, however, could only mumble, Its Bernard the Elf to my confused friends.
I dont know, the elf that made me queer?
And, well, thats just too many people with a shared attraction to an elf.
I had to figure this out.
Have you seen this bang out of excitement over Bernard around the Christmas season before?
Why do you think that is?Its ratcheted up a bit.
The first signalI received was a Buzzfeed articlea few years ago about it.
I had that experience too with him!
How do I explain it?
I mean, hes in charge.
But hes got a really good heart.
And he loves the kid.
And hes very safe, obviously, too.
Hes also very safe.
Something about maybe the dreadlocks?
Ive lost track of why.
And its not like I havent thought about it.
I will tell you that.
And I was just happy to be there.
But I look at it now, and I kind of see what it might be.
I was a kind of handsome kid doing like, a thing in a Bernard elf outfit.
Christmas is heartwarming shit.
And that was my M.O.
I dont know why its become a sexualized thing, though.
People who didnt grow up withThe Santa Clausementioned other characters of yours they had a similar experience with.
Maybe its not just Bernard, David, maybe its you.
TheresFreaks and Geeks,10 Things I Hate About You….You know what?
[Laughs] Ive been told a few times before that I was born to play sexy.
And so it wouldnt surprise me.
Not in the least.
And at the same time, what can one say?
Ill just put it this way: I pop on screen.
But you know, it is weird.
It proves one thing: that any gender can perv out.
But what is this thing they were feeling there to begin with?
Yeah, the phrase sexual awakening, its so strange.
He was under a tremendous amount of stress.
He had just finished a full season of a show.
I just admired his work ethic.
But, he wasnt above being grumpy Santa sometimes.
Because it was hard.
I felt bad for him.
It wasnt just the prosthetics, it was the fat suit.
He was just hot the whole time.
It was the summer of that year that we shot.
He was constantly overheating.
So, Id be grumpy too.
I did a thing with prosthetics and it drove me out of my mind.
And on the second movie, he was lovely.
We had a good time.
It was a lot of fun.
A lot of people wonder why Bernard isnt in the third film.
I believe you were filming a TV show?
Yes, I feel that way.
Bernard was in the third movie.
They sent me the script, I had a pretty significant role.
And it was all set to go.
The third one, Ive tried to watch.
Its not the same.
I think the first two are really special.
The first ones a classic, obviously.
I could never have imagined that Id be having this conversation years later.
I think it appeals to the weird kids because it is like a dark Christmas movie.
Santa Claus dies.I guess so.
I never saw him as dying.
He falls off the roof, hurts himself badly and disappears magically.
I dont know, you call that dying?
As a kid I was like, hes dead.
And we got a sad single dad and child abandonment at the end.I love that its about divorce.
Its really about divorce at its core.
I thought that really grounds the film.
Was there an effort to build on Bernard and push your image as a teen sweetheart?
And I didnt carry myself with any sense that I was attractive.
In fact, I thought the opposite.
I thought I was quite unattractive for a very long time.
I thought,Oh God, I look like Nosferatu with hair.
And now I look back at it.
Im like,Oh, I was pretty handsome.
And I didnt know the whole time.
So I didnt carry myself that way.
I didnt want that kind of stuff.
It was only whenNumberswas on that there was this mention of sexiness and what have you.
Its a different kind of pressure.
Its embarrassing more than anything else to have to play to the sexiness.
But if you’re free to do it, you’re free to do it.
That my face, its practically been sewn into the great American pop culture quilt.
Although, the truth is that I do feel a lot of pride in that.
And I think its kind of fun to mess with people around Christmas time and make their Christmas.
I have no shame about it.
But for the most part, I hide Bernard.
What was Bernard but a role in a movie that was a job?
I had a tough time making the second movie.
I had anxiety issues.
I was eight years older, and I had to dress up as an elf again.
I have a lot of regrets about Bernard.
As well as pride.
I also got bit by a woman once.
It was the second year of SXSW in Austin, Texas.
A woman came up to me after the premiere of a small indie that I made.
She was quite a bit older than me.
She must have been in her mid-50s, not that it matters.
But she came with a friend who had a camera on the ready.
And she was very drunk, mind you.
I said, No, thats not gonna happen.
And I said, Thats mostcertainlynot happening!
And I was amused, but it started to get a little creepy.
And her friend took a picture.
What Im saying is that being Bernard, The Head Elf, has its penalties.
Ive paid for this.
This has been difficult, being a sexual icon thats an elf.
Im a bloody Christmas elf.
Thats where everyone needs to take it down a notch.
And perhaps stop admitting it publicly.
Lets go back to keeping it to ourselves.Yeah.
Perhaps the secret you have about lusting after a small Christmas elf a white boy with dreadlocks?
Yeah, maybe keep that to yourself.
Dont admit that in every comment section.
Not to kink shame anyone.Not to kink shame, I didnt even know that was a thing.
But I respect your love of Bernard.
I just see him as a cherubic little glint in the eye of Santa.
Its a nice thing that Bernard was around.
There are many methods.
Its hard to kill a little Christmas elf.
No, I would never.
I dont think my performance in that movie matters much to the industry.
But at the same time, I have to avoid controversy.
Because itll always be, David Krumholtz, Bernard FromThe Santa ClauseArrested For Public Indecency!
That would be bad.
But I will say, I do carry the spirit of Christmas in my heart.
So, in all truth, I am Bernard the Head Elf.
Im proud of it.
Just maybe take the perviness for him down.
Look at him with respect.Yeah, stop looking at my Christmas ass.
