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We are confident that should he ever find this column, he will find it both confusing and mortifying.
Times have been tough in the Matt Berryverse.
This is why its time for Berry to take matters into his own sturdy, pinky-ring-wearing hands.
It is time for Matt Berry to become a Twitch streamer.
Think about it for a minute: a Matt Berry Twitch channel.
Im not entirely confident hed even know what one was if he saw it.
Gaming isnt actually a requirement for Twitch stardom.
He has almost 300,000 Twitter followerson an account he hasnt even really used in almost a year.
In addition to active fan communities onInstagramandReddit, there is also a Facebook group called theMatt Berry Appreciation Society.
One user recently shared aBBC documentary from the 1970sabout a phallic musical instrument called the Kaleidophon.
It had nothing to do with Berry beyond being something his fans thought he might like.
Too much, I do hope Matt is aware of this, one fan commented.
This looks like an instrument that Matt would definitely use and probably has, wrote another.
People fucking love Matt Berry.
But his apparent disinterest in being a celebrity is a big part of his enigmatic appeal.
Its a whole-ass vibe thats perfect for Twitch.
Ive mocked up an example here:
This man was made to be the internets daddy.
so he can focus solely on the content.
And make no mistake, Berry is a content machine, and Twitch is a content firehose.
Here he is in his home studio in June 2020 singing a song about coronavirus.
This would be the best thing on Twitch any day of the week that AOC isnt streaming.
But and I hope youre sitting down for this Berry alsopaints.
He has a degree in it.
Can you imagine a Bob Rossstyle show, but make it Matt Berry doing surrealism?
Doesnt the mere thought of it make you almost insane?
He could wear a beret.
Theres also great guest potential.
Only a complete sicko wouldnt love this.
Forget the Golden Globes, this could be the first Twitch stream to win an Emmy.
No, an Oscar.No, a Presidential Medal of Freedom from one of thegoodpresidents.
As Karl Marx once said, From each according to his ability, to each according to his needs.
