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The jungle, Werner Herzog used to say, is murder.
It didnt need to be this way, surely.
The opening scenes show some promise.
It certainly liberally borrows from just about all of them.
And here,Jungle Cruisesadly falls back on its corporate theme-park origins.
Its a safety-first kind of movie, seemingly too afraid to ever make us fear for our heroes.
Why exactly is this movie set during WWI anyway?
Were they afraid to make Joachim a Nazi?)
Maybe that sort of thing makes for admirable messaging (does it?
), but it certainly doesnt quicken the pulse.
On the latter front, Johnson and Blunt dont have much chemistry.
In the end, they dont argue all that much.
But it is so not that movie.
Meanwhile, Whitehall is given the thankless task of portraying what is supposedly Disneys most out gay character yet.
He then adds, Uncle threatened to disinherit me.
Friends and family turned their backs, all because of who I love.
Im not sure any of this is progress.
The jungle might not kill you, butJungle Cruisecould kill your soul.
