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Trailers teased as much lush jungle, water cresting over gnarled rocks, sunsets peeking through outstretched hands.
But for all its bluster and its vastness of time,Eternalsfeels strangely vacuum-sealed.
There are battles in Mesopotamia and Babylon, and trips to the twilight expanse of outer space.
Theres a drably choreographed and shot Bollywood dance number introducing Kumail Nanjianis superpowered movie star, Kingo.
You would think this an impossibility, given how effective and charismatic theyve been elsewhere.
Yes, you read that right.)
That doesnt stop him from getting his own end-credits scene.
For all the talk aboutEternalsstanding on its own, Marvel still cant help but tease out upcoming properties.
A star is a powerful tool in a directors arsenal.
They bring rich, complicated histories that can be subverted, played with, even alluded to in film.
They can bend light, move their bodies in that exceptional way.
But if they arent used properly, they become nothing more than marketing tools.
Eternalsis buoyed along by questions about the worth of humanity.
Why do these superpowered aliens care at all about humans, beyond the fact that they were told to?
Sure, Phastos has a husband and a young kid.
But what about the rest?
What drives them beyond a murky desire to do the right thing?
Theres gristle to Druigs (Barry Keoghan) slim portion of the story.
He can control peoples minds and has been doing so with Indigenous folks in the Amazon for generations.
WithEternals,Marvel proves itself to be nothing more than a staid, lumbering black hole.
Whats the point in pulling in Hollywood stars if youre just going to obliterate them?
Jolie is one of the most fascinating, complicated, and high-profile celebrities to have ever existed.
Her history cant help but shape a film a franchise, even.
Her physicality cant help but bring dimension to an action scene.
She cant help but make a movieher movie.And yet despite the heft ofEternals, its marked by emptiness.
In the end,Eternalsis nobodys film.
