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Shes always been drawn to the nuanced, even ugly emotions people tend to shy away from.
That cards-on-the-table approach might stir up controversy, but its also brought in an audience who loves her authenticity.
As a society, theres so much were told to silence and push down, she says.
Thats led to so much pain in my life.
For most of the album, though, the singer puts herself in the crosshairs.
This album is her search for redemption, an attempt to set herself free.
Im done losing sleep over things I cant be, she sings on closer For Cari.
And I pleased everybody so this ones for me.
You werent even sure you were going to release it at all.
That song sort of existed outside of the way that I usually write.
I just thought, if I felt this way, why should I censor it?
Its an honest part of the journey, just like,Fuck this, but shes hot.
Im here for those things, and thats why its on my album.
What was it like seeing that all unfold?
[Laughs] The name Becky is a pop trope, and its been used in music for decades.
Its meant as the other woman, you know, Becky with the good hair.
Its been Oh my god, Becky, look at her butt.
But I wasnt setting out to create something that needed to be confirmed or speculated about.
I just jumped at the opportunity to use a name thats been a trope for decades.
But like I said, songwriters have been using Becky for a long time.
My songs that have come out, even the songs that Im talking about on this album, definitely.
Its like,Hi, this is the situation, this is what the songs are called.
Id love to have a conversation about it.
No matter what terms you are on with somebody, I think its important to give notice.
Im an artist and this is what I do, I write about my feelings.
Its weird territory, 100 percent, but giving a heads up is always something thats important to me.
Thats kind of nerve-wracking, though.
Its just me saying, Im going to talk about my feelings and my experiences.
I cant speak to yours, but Im going to honor my truth.
See the thing is that the petty feelings that I do have, Im not taking action on them.
Im not actually trying to fuck anyones girlfriend.
[Laughs] I have these thoughts and then I decide to make a song about it.
The pettiest thing I do is go into the studio and write Bitter or Undrunk.
Obviously, your plans had to change.
Tell me how you got toGirl of My Dreams.Ive been onquitethe spiritual journey over the last two years.
What did you find out?Apparently I dont know much.
Im getting closer to myself now.
And this album isnt me saying Ive figured it all out.
I have a lifetime ahead of me for that.
Is that how it usually works for you?
For that reason, I dont listen to old stuff that often.
Youre not really sugarcoating any of it.Lets talk about those feelings!
Lets feel everything and heal!
Because even if you dont take action on those feelings, they have to have a place to go.
Im feeling jealous, lets talk about it.
Im feeling like a petty little bitch today, lets channel that energy.
Its all welcome at my table.
[Laughs] Its just one weird dinner party.
Youre welcoming a lot of different emotions onGirl of My Dreams.
Its Sting all the way to For Cari.
And to get to that redemption, you have to go through Beckys So Hot and Serial Heartbreaker.
This album is to be empowered by those things because its what makes us fucking real.
I didnt know where any of these parts fit in.
I just remember feeling so lost and so confused in my life.
Thats really crazy, and its taken a minute to get to this point.
Im always learning and growing and fucking up.
Ill never be perfect, but thats the whole point.
Ive always just wanted to live a life that felt true.
Youstarted outonThe X Factorat 17.
You were placed in a group because you were told you werent strong enough to compete solo.
Thats when I started writing about my feelings, and put out my first song ever.
This interview has been edited and condensed.
