Girls5eva

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Lets talk about who you know (Contacts!)

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/ Cause I know everyone.

While that would indeed be dazzlingly clever, thats not my recapping game plan, I assure you.

This second season is making me fall in love with characters I didnt find particularly compelling in the first.

But like their manager-assigned pop personas, the womens personalities seemed limited to one or two traits each.

I couldnt help it.

Shes growing, guys!

The group members may be blossoming, but Girls5Eva has hit a wall.

Glorias knee surgery has brought the publicity train to a screeching halt.

Summer, the wanton Jezebel of the Summer and Kev saga, has lost her following.

And Wickies foot oglers have little interest in her pursuits above the ankle.

They need to mine their Rolodex of industry contacts to get their career momentum back.

Well, their two contacts.

The first option being Fred Durst, they reach out to Stinker.

Security confiscates everyones phones, leaving Max with only lipstick and a never-ending CVS receipt to occupy his time.

Gloria is far more agitated than little Max by the fact that she cant access her screen.

Move on, Gloria!

To get over someone, ya gotta get under someone!

Gloria confesses that shes never successfully picked up a woman.

Oh, wait, no they wont.

The camera whips past them, guaranteeing theyll be unrecognizable to the public as anything but four sparkly smears.

Surprisingly, Stinker uses the take.

The wardrobe department will even double as a day care.

Where, pray tell, has Wickie erred?

For her kid, she wants a normal, boring existence.

With visions of scuzzy handlers and tabloid lies dancing in her head, she yanks Max from the video.

Now, I totally get her reasoning.

Dawn rejoices, rewarding her perfect, rhythmless progeny with another string of coupons to decorate.

Gosh, the day is going well!

For the first time in ten years, Gloria considers offering her heart to someone new.

You never forsake your favorite Muppet.

Power Vocals

The sexiest OTC pain reliever is obviously Motrin.

I hate that this show made me consider which beloved Henson creation most resembles the frontal nethers.

That said, Im going withSweetums.

I mean, theres still time, girls.Get him while hes hot.