Gossip Girl
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Welcome back, Upper East Siders.
Were heading home from Hudson and ringing in the new year with a war of mutual destruction.
Or did you forget?
and use the powers of Gossip Girl for good, whatever that means.
Where did we leave things?
Ten points to anyone who could remember without rewatching the finale.
Jujus message still haunts me.
Lets play it back.
Greetings, Gossip Girl.
You may have abandoned us, but I cant forget you.
And I dont want to.
You were the worst thing that ever happened to me, but you also changed me.
And you cant leave yet.
A tip, though, from one influencer to another, you were too nice.
You cared too much.
Thats not how this is supposed to go.
If you really want to get us, you have to make us worry.
You have to make us squirm.
You started with me, so it only makes sense that you restart with me.
Im going to send you everything you never knew about everyone I know.
But theres a catch.
Not all of it will be true, and youre not going to know the difference.
Its time for chaos.
Thats the only way you change the world.
You take the gloves off.
This deal has one condition.
Mutually assured destruction, from one bitch to another.
You know I hate you, but I know you love me.
You have till midnight.
Im relieved they killed Julien and Gossip Girls alliance at the end of this episode.
It didnt make sense.
Julien girl-bossed too close to the sun.
Why would audiences care about stale stories?
Look what mass submissions did to DeuxMoi.
Shes not making good on her threat to mutually destroy.
Shes thinking about her M.B.A.!
And fighting for shower time with her sister!
Now the show can focus on a prep-school power struggle, as the good Cecily von Ziegesar intended.
For Monet, thisMommie Dearestmoment means mass destruction.
Some ruthless queen-bee antics!
Some sabotage and scandal!
Maybe some SAT score switching?
Weve waited a whole season for this, and now its finally here.
Side note: Call me old-fashioned, but Im surprised by the new generations blase attitudes toward higher education.
I know its a new era, but prep-school kids will never waver on the Ivy League.
Obviously Julien wants to go to college.
Monets reaction to Juliens college dreams is nothing short of shocking.
Even free-spirited Serena was supposed to go to Brown!
Its time for an AMA about MAA, or Max, Audrey, and Aki (sorry).
Let this poor boy be free!
Also, LOL at Aki saying hes gettingDeadlinealerts about Sundance.
One thing about me: Im an Aki and Evan Mock apologist.
This kid can do no wrong.
Nate Archibald, he is not.
I pray, beg, plead, implore that Luna La gets some real shit to do this season.
Replace Obie with her!
Monet gets the Blair Waldorf story line, as she should, but what about Luna?
Luna isnt one of Monets minions.
Shes not enforcing the dress code, scanning tickets for bathroom admission, or hawking headbands to her henchmen.
I knew this bitch was rich!
