Quinta Brunsons guide to surviving the hell that is Twitter.
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After sending it, I clicked my phone off and tossed it onto the couch next to me.
Jack began licking his paw and using it to clean his face.
It was cute as fuck.
Stay there, Jack, dont move, I told him, because he clearly understands English.
I need to put this on Instagram.
I picked up my phone, clicked it open, and found that it was still on Twitter.
My eyes widened at the sight my tweet had 232 RTs and 123 favorites.
It had only been a few minutes.
My cheeks grew hot and my body filled with dread: I was being called out.
The response was so strong and so swift, it was disorienting.
When I first downloaded Twitter in August 2008, the platform was not what it is today.
I sent my very first tweet FUCK THE POLICE after adoring how James Franco yelled the line inPineapple Express.
From there, things would pop into my head and Id send them out into the world via Twitter.
They expected me to say the things that Quinta would say.
Not me, Quinta, internet Quinta.
I decided to use Twitter to share broader thoughts and general jokes.
The interactions on there were mostly encouraging and exciting.
It was awesome to tweet about being short and have 30K other people like it and engage with it!
But there was another side of the platform that I hated to experience, and that was: criticism.
turning on a brotha for this white woman?
this is the problem youre giving up on bill, yet call yourself a comedian!
How can you be from Philly and do this?
Are you really from Philly?
That last one fucking hurt.
I didnt duck gunshots on Forty-Ninth and Chancellor to be called out as someone who didnt rep my city.
I was frustrated with Twitter, but mainly I was frustrated with myself.
Thats not a dialogue; its an argument into the void.
Let me give you another example.
A little while ago, I was reading story after story about young Black girls getting kidnapped.
Rally our leaders, or communities, or something.
I composed a tweet that addressed the issue, carefully considering my wording.
But the thing is, sometimes I personally cant stick to the funny stuff.
Ladies, lets protect ourselves until something is done about it.
Short, simple, and direct.
To me, it seemed bulletproof.
No one can pick apart this argument, I told myself, before pressing send.
How did I messthisup?
But, according to the internet, I did.
Stuff like this happens on Twitter all day.
Everyone wants to be the most right, the most nuanced, get the most reactions.
But the chances of that happening all the time are impossible.
I go back and forth with having Twitter at my fingertips.
Just because Im good at the internet doesnt mean Im always goodwiththe internet.
This is a story about what I learned How to Mind My Own Damn Business.
We, all of us, could stand to chill out and mind the business that minds us.
Ive clearly thought a lot about this, and naturally, I have some tips for you.
After all, you have your own business to mind; you dont need to be minding other peoples.
You dont have time for that!
#science
Step One:Are you about to speak on something that doesnt concern you?
Is your laundry done?
Have you paid that bill thats about to go to collections?
Instead of talking about what Cardi should do with Offset, have you ONSET working out your own relationships?
Consider taking care of yourself prior to beginning putting your nose into the goings-on of others.
Step Two:Does the word selfish carry a negative connotation for you?
Well, stop thinking that way.
I am here to tellYOUthat you better be selfish!
Which, especially in these times, is the only thing that matters.
Step Three:Unfollow blog sites.
Step Four:Dont give your opinion as fact on the internet unless youre an expert.
If you have a Ph.D. in whatever the subject matter is, then go crazy!
Otherwise, dont tweet your opinion presented as fact.
Step Five:Is all of this just a little too hard to do?
Then delete the Twitter app off your phone and download an addicting game app instead!
Its this great game where you get to renovate an old home by winningCandy Crushstyle games.
No ones going to call you out for being a hypocrite onHomescapes!
Plus, its free.
Step Six:I already told you to unfollow the damn blog sites.
Dont make me come grab your phone and do it myself.
Step Seven:At the end of each day, put your phone in a drawer.
When you feel yourself getting worked up, just remember drawer.
The drawer is a psychological jail for your phone.
Step Nine:Evaluate why you care so much about what other people are doing on the internet.
Is it because theres something missing in your life?
Are you projecting your own insecurities onto someone elses digital presence?
Step Ten:Hang out with a friend and remember what its like to talk in real life.
Challenge each other to talk about anything but what youve read on social media.
Its a game changer, Im tellin ya.
Thats it for the Quinta Brunson School of Minding Your Own Damn Business.
Thank you for taking the time to read.
Come back next week for my talk on wearing flower prints, and not letting flower prints wear you!
I understand the value of having a platform and using it wisely.
Sometimes I wonder what this app is doing to my ability to connect with people in the real world.
What a scary thought.
Its one big repetitious cycle, and its not a smart way to advance thought or create empathy.
If Im being real, I hope social media can go the way of plastic straws.
Conversing with people about things like books and sustainability of life.
Im hearing different types of people out and am forming more nuanced opinions about the world because of that.
And less time on social media means more time to do my work, and relax with my family.
I am quite literally minding my actual business, and I feel way better about it.
just join me well, kind of in minding your own business.
Excerpt fromSHE MEMES WELLby Quinta Brunson.
Copyright 2021 by Quinta Brunson.
Available June 15, 2021 fromHMH Books & Media.
