Interview With the Vampire
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Extravagant, gory, and all over the place.
Starting with: Whatarethe vampire rules around here, anyway?
And Daddy Lou, strangely incurious about Lestats impending assassination, just goes with it.
No duh, Louis cant go through with killing Lestat, Claudia.
Thats why you kept the plot a secret from him to begin with.
The fact that this episode delivers not one buttwowhodunnit-style monologues unraveling the secret plot?
But Im getting ahead of myself.
He is not at all over Lestat.
Its one of those hot twins Lestat wants to eat, she tells Louis.
Shes already poisoned him so hell be good and dead by the time they serve him up to Lestat.
Once Louis has finished passing out tickets to the bloody massacre, its time for phase two.
Which is the bloody massacre.
A squelching, screeching, squirting romp of a massacre.
Im sorry, my love, *smiles nervously.
*
Lestat is about to take a bite but he smells something … what is it?
Louis, sweating bullets: I think its gin!
Antoinette, also in drag, out of nowhere: Laudanum.
Turns out Lestatdidtechnically kill Antoinette, he just also turned her into a vampire.
But then the dead kid wakes up!
Lestat begins vomiting and Claudia launches into her villain monologue.
SheknewAntoinette was there the whole time.
This kid wasnt poisoned at all, Claudia reveals.
She poisoned the mayor who disrespected Lestat earlier in the episode, knowing hed want to kill him.
Always the petty slights with you, Uncle Les.
Louis slashes his throat and then stares at the horror that was Lestat.
But here Molloy absolutely has to jump in to call bullshit.
Youre telling me Claudia loved Lestat too much to burn him?
Gimme a break.
The real story was Louis threatened to kill her if she did.
And whats with all these missing pages from Claudias diary?
Its another plot twist!
Louis never killed Lestat at all!
Molloy is a very clever, observant journalist.
Hes so clever, in fact, that he also notices that theres something up with Rashid.
We have arrived at our final twist.
Louis didnt just inception Rashid into Molloys memory, he was actually there.
Which must mean … thats right, Rashid confirms from several feet in the air.
Hes a vampire whos so old he doesnt even burn in the sun.
Guys I need this show to continue for 12 seasons at least.
I am officially hooked.
Make me immortal, Lestat, Im ready.
