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For better or worse, the pod squad is back and depressing as shit.
And then they did!
At least Sal claims hes breaking his ukulele and Shake was nowhere to be found!
Danielle and Nick
Danielle says something onAfter the Altarthat shook me to my core.
It is so deeply sad that Im not sure Ill ever be able to forget it.
This makes my heart hurt.
Someone needs to readAttachedASAP.
And honestly, after watching these three episodes, I cant say Im surprised.
Here are the red flags that tipped me off to a looming breakup:
Nick wears Canada Goose.
Danielle says she would drink the spit bucket at wine tasting.
The way Nick tells Danielle, Oh, boy, just dont hit anyone!
while theyre playing mini-golf (???
I actually forgot what they were doing?
Danielle asks Shaina and Christos if they are GF and BF.
As in, saying the letters Bee Eff and Gee Eff.
The Jeff Koonsstyle balloon dog decor in their apartment.
Danielle confronts Shaina about Shane at Natalies 30th birthday party, whichsheis hosting!
Completely bored, unhappy behavior.
Nicks agro energy about costume parties.
He had a tailgate party where everyone had to dress like a football player?
What in the fuck?
What in the Heidi Klum Halloween?
The fact that they traveled to Colorado to see Kygo (Kygo!Kygo!)
perform their wedding song … and then he didnt even play it.
He admittedly likes it how it is.
Danielle tells us hes gluten free, chicken free, pork free, and shrimp free.
But not red-meat free?
She also tells us hes a picky eater solely because of Netflix documentaries.
(Sub-point: When he says, I cant handle spice.
And simply … their complete lack of chemistry.
I am choosing to believe that both Nick and Danielle are artificial intelligences created by Netflix.
I cannot fathom them being real people who really got married.
Iyanna and Jarrette
Iyanna is way too pure for this show.
Jarrette is a flop.
All his jobs are night-life adjacent, and the only person he prioritizes is himself.
Their relationship lacks any foundation.
I cant elaborate on why this is a red flag, but it is.
Their toast: Two flawed weirdos, trying to make it work.
One of the first things Iyanna says is that theyre still in the experiment.
LOL :/
Jarrette routinely stays out until seven in the morning!
I am 27 years old and I can barely stay up past midnight.
Jarrette pooping while Iyanna is in the shower.
This is disgusting to me on a number of levels.
Logistically, Im concerned how this is happening so often that it has become a pattern?
Jarrette is famously never home!
Take care of this while youre out of the house instead of creating a stinky steam stench!
Iyanna never experiences peace (thanks to Jarrette), and he has to ruin her shower too?
Be fuckin for real.
Jarrette does not tell his parents how dire things are between him and Iyanna.
I want to clarify that this isnt a blanket red flag: Not everyone is close with their families!
Um, Iyana moves out?
It shouldnt be that hard to prioritize the person you love?
How is thatthehardest part of your marriage?
That should be the foundation of your marriage!
All of this is a sea of red.
Deepti and Kyle
Deepti and Kyle briefly fell in love (?)
in the real world, not the pod, but that doesnt save them from judgment.
Here they are:
Kyles nose piercing
The way he refers to Champagne as champs.
Kyles cartilage piercing is this new?
His monogrammed green duffel as seen in episode 12.
Ironic boat totes are the only acceptable monograms!
Being a good juggler.
He quickly guesses golden shower, after receiving the hint urinating in hygiene.
This is suspicious to me.
Going to Danielle and Nick for relationship advice.
Can we definitively say whether the pods lead to true love or just help illustrate hundreds of red flags?
