Love Island U.K.
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This recap does not cover Episode 13 - Unseen Bits.
Were three weeks in, and heres my ranking of the islanders thus far:
1.
Liberty, Kaz, and Faye2.
Let me just say: Liberty is some of the best casting this season.
Where are all the cries of girl code when you need them?
Kaz gets her revenge for last week by interrupting Chloes conversation with Teddy and subsequently flirting for her life.
At the recoupling, there are the usual suspects Jake/Liberty, Liam/Millie, Toby/Chloe, and Brad/Lucinda.
This leaves Teddy to choose between Faye and Rachel, and he selects Faye because of their naughty tension.
Rachel has to go home, which is sad because we wont get to see herbeautiful walkanymore.
Now that theyre an official couple, Chloby seem to be glued together by the lips.
Production, yo separate them if not, the British public will!
The next morning, Toby cuts up honeydew into Chloes initials because hes a hopeless romant.
Toby, even melon cant save you from the reckoning thats coming for this couple.
Today, the islanders have to carry a Sunday Roast across a platform using only their mouths and tits.
Its the grossest challenge yet, and I just saw Chloe and Toby make out!
On the other side of the villa, Liberty feels the same way as Faye.
ITV, heres your newmental-health spokeswoman.
Liberty Self-Confidence PSA when?
These two are growing on me.
They could even threaten Liberty and Jakes place as resident bimbo couple!
Producers, like issue a Code Red and Stop.
Lock this villa down no one goes in or out.
This is a delicate ecosystem, and we dont want anything upsetting the balance.
The producers immediately ignore my cries and send Brad and Lucinda on a date.
Afterward, Lucinda tells the girls shes catching some feelings despite Brads talkative side.
Have we all just forgotten about Lucindas doubts last week?
Maybe shes just waiting for another man to walk in and become obsessed with her.
Hugo, evidently, isnotsmart enough to take the hint, despite being a literal teacher.
Kaz approaches him and asks him about Sharon, and he says the relationship is platonic.
Hugo, I cant do this anymore.
Im breaking up with you.
You had one chance finally,one chance!
and you ruined it.
I hope you find love with one of the many women in your Instagram DMs right now.
Theres a dumping tonight!
The British public have voted on the most compatible couple, and its not looking good for Chloby.
Brad and Lucinda are voted least compatible, and the producers are really just evil geniuses arent they?
Sending them on that date, fully knowing the results of this vote?
The devil works hard, butLove Islandworks harder.
Brad immediately tells Lucinda that she should stay because hes had his time in the villa.
Give us the drama that this season needs!
Until the next dumping for those two!
Finally, a reward worth fighting for!
The girlies absolutely crush giant flip cup, but the boys conquer a game of Throw-the-Engagement-Ring-Onto-the-Inflatable-Penis.
As their prize, the boys get a 28-year-old hair technician named A.J.
whose fake eyelashes look as though theyre going to leap off her face and flutter away at any moment.
She immediately targets single boys Aaron and Hugo and breaking news says shesexcited to get to know Hugo.
Lucinda has decided shes done enough moping about Brad because its been at least one business day.
Liam lets her know that Aaron fancies her, and Lucinda immediately pulls him for a chat.
Aaron likes that shes a chill girl, a Cool Girl, if you will.
Cool Girl is hot.
Cool Girl is game.
Cool Girl never gets mad about fillers.
She only smiles in a chagrined, loving manner and couples up to win 50,000 pounds.
The next day, A.J.
tries to put the moves on Teddy, but he lets her know that hes pretty happy with Faye.
Too bad Hugo cant flirt even when he has someone interested in him on the terrace, A.J.
Dude, it was going 10 mph and would have ended at first base.
Theres only so much we can help you.
His name is Danny, and the shaved head and tattoos are kind of giving me skinhead vibes.
launch his high-end clothing company calledKramclo.
is fed up with Hugos antics and starts aggressively pursuing Liam.
Liam seems pretty loyal to her, but this could all be messed up if A.J.
chooses Liam at tonights re-coupling and Millie gets dumped.
At least thered finally be some good drama this season though!
Are they the least favorite production couple?
Well see on Sunday!!
What are those odd little purses Sharon and Kaz carried out of the villa on their dates with Danny?
Sharons looked like a toolbox, and she didnt even get to bring it into the date!
Is that the new chic way to hold your mic pack?
Can we get a bottle of setting spray on hand, just?
Jake likes to have sex to T-Pains Im Sprung.
