Love Island U.K.
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This recap does not cover Episode 62 Unseen Bits.
Well, Islanders, we did it.
Now, lets crack on.
Youd think hed be more entertaining for such a drama machine.
She dominates the talent show with her expert dance moves.
She cheerily amps herself up for the #MileHighClub challenge by pointing to her various orifices as entrances.
And then, she and Jamie (it is Jamie, right?)
are voted at the bottom by the public and are hereby dumped.
After she leaves, the girls reflect on Danicas good fortune in finding the man of her dreams.
Ekin-Su observes, Never settle for anything less, ladies.
Much as I loved Danica, her love story is not one we were all that invested in.
It is time to turn our attention to the final chapters of our Fab Fives Love Island journeys.
With the benefit of experience, Adam has exhibited pitch-perfect Love Island behavior.
Nothing about Paiges behavior disturbs him.
He gasses her up at every opportunity and agrees to name their plastic child Sage.
You know that person you just feel safe with?
Paige asks the beach-hut cam.
For her, this is Adam.
Its natural for anyone who watched Adams season-four mad moves to be alarmed on her behalf here.
But, considering her villa-specific experiences, this makes perfect sense to me.
These are the extravagant outings that production spends actual money on and are specifically calculated to tug heartstrings.
My interest in these two extremely hot but boringly at ease people perked up again on family day.
Paige greets her mum and already weeping dad in her typical style: You guys look so lush!
While Mr. Paige claims that he hasnt watched the show at all, Mrs. Paige goes full mom.
Practically the first words out of her mouth are Im not buying it.
According to her, Paige was more herself when she was with Jacques.
According to whoever composes the text hashtags, this is #KardashianVibes.
I wish this date were not so boring, I really do, because their conversation is very sweet.
She, quite reasonably, bursts into tears at this.
I got you, he tells her.
On family day, Tasha and Andrews parents both give the other one minimal amounts of shit.
You know who has a great mom?
Which I will get to in a second, but I need a smooth transition.
Either way, I cant fault the chemistry judgment.
Their date text hashtag reads #VivaLaFiesta and Luca asks, I thought that was a car.
My brother in Christ.
Indiyah worries, But I cant dance!
Before either can regain composure, they have been fully accosted by a flamenco flash mob.
Theyre British, so I guess this qualifies as amazing.
The real highlight of the date, of course, is not the surprise drum line or grocery-store produce.
It is Damis way with words.
He goes on, I love our story.
And I love you.
He then haltingly asks her to be his official girlfriend and all is well in Damniyah.
And then comes parents day.
Femi and Alicia tell Dami theyre proud of him, but they do not let him off the hook.
He asks if they saw Casa Amor, and Femi immediately glowers and asks, no-nonsense-like, Why?
This is what a loving family does.
Indiyahs mother and sister are even better, who already do not love the idea of Dami being family.
Right off, Indiyahs mom tells her that Dami is not fully redeemed in her eyes yet.
Mum and sister then start hammering him about Casa Amor in turns.
Explain the three-way kiss, is that a thing for you?
She wasnt moving wild the way you was.
It came across as very thirsty.
And you was very angry when she came back with Deji like you didnt come back with someone.
And then had the cheek to recouple up with her.
Indiyahs mom then accidentally calls Dami Deji, and this is the best family day interaction Ive ever seen.
Lucas father says, When youve overreacted.
Luca asks when and Lucas mom just says, Luca.
For whatever reason, Gemma isnt willing to let Lucas protectiveness go unacknowledged this time.
One morning he says he wants to kiss her, and she responds, God loves a trier.
Gemma calls Lucas prosecco pour amateur.
He tells her to be honest, and she says the day out with the girls was really nice.
But its time to talk about Ekin-Su and Davide, who have ramped up their relationship into overdrive.
It is legitimately gorgeous.
I cried Im not ashamed to admit it.
Davide and Ekin-Su also cried.
Ekin-Su says, As long as youre with me, theres no place Id rather be.
Both Ekin-Su and Davides mothers agree, by the way.
And Davide says, I think we are both head over heels in love.
Ekin-Sus mother tells her she can tell how in love she is.
My sense of objectivity is completely gone.
The day of the final has arrived.
Some highlights:
In fourth place, Laura Whitmore can reveal, are Tasha and Andrew!
In third place are Indiyah and Dami (racism)!
In second place … Gemma and Luca!
Which makes Ekin-Su and Davide this years winners!
They make out, Ekin starts crying, and Davide hugs her.
Enjoy your 50,000, you two kids.
Until next summer, Islanders.
