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Lucy Dacusis slowly finding herself again.
It has taken some time because, well, things got pretty dark there for a while.
It was maybe one of the worst depressive times of my life, she says.
I realized,Oh yeah, this is a medical level of depression.
Dacus would often sit alone inside for days at a time in a paranoid state of emotional upheaval.
She felt purposeless and helpless.
We just didnt know anything, she says of it now.
She is in a far better place.
These are songs she was in no mental shape to share last year.
But I think good art is selfish, she pushes back on herself.
Since her breakout debut album,2016sNo Burden, Dacuss lyrics have traded in intimacy.
Even when I was writing them, she adds, it felt like passing through a memory.
But, at this point, I think Ive quelled that voice in my head.
It doesnt matter whether it has use to others.
Its useful to me.
And lyrically, shes just on another planet.
Baker adds, If were talking about songwriting, Lucy is one of the most perceptive people I know.
She is a wildly gifted storyteller.
At least Im lucky that she hasnt decided to love me less for that, she says.
Home Videofrees Dacus of all the past insecurities shed held onto.
On Christine, she boldly chastises a friend for her less-than-ideal choice in a boyfriend.
Id rather lose my dignity / than lose you to somebody who wont make you happy, she sings.
I was just not letting them become what they could have been.
To which Dacus has told her, Mom, you might be gay.
Like, literally, sleep with a woman one time and figure it out.
Otherwise youre going to just ride out this internalized homophobia for your whole life.
Dacus pauses and laughs.
Its ok. She doesnt have to be gay.
So Im trying not to get too comfortable.
I dont want to seem blase, but I think Im kinda like [shrug].
And I was one of those folks and maybe still am.
Im growing hella grey hairs.
I gained a lot of weight.
But I feel the best I have in a long time.
I hope that instead of constantly being fearful, she says, we now just charge into life flagrantly.
Hear more from Lucy Dacus on the latest episode ofSwitched on Pop:
