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Is Martin Short the greatest talk-show guest of all time?askedThe New Yorkera few years ago.
Is the Pope the most Catholic dude of all time?
Its like,duh.
(Prove it!Fine.)
Thats more than four jokes per minute!
As New YorkTimescomedy criticJason Zinoman noted on Twitter, it was downright Dangerfieldian.
We tallied all the jokes below, but watch the dang clip.
The wildest part is he couldve been singing the whole time, and it wouldve been equally entertaining.
My God, your name screams out diversity.
Im so excited to be here tonight.
Although, it could be the Vicodin and Xanax talking, but I dont think so.
You know, I havent seen you since the big Saudi golf tournament.
- Who knew that you and the crown prince were such buddies?
The giggling and the giggling, and hes knitting and youre holding the wool.
What did you mean by that?
What does that mean?
What does that mean?
Heres the thing about Jimmy.
We do hang out, because were not just fake show-business friends.
Were fake friends in real life.
[In response to How is your summer going, though?]
Well, its so beautiful.
Ive been up with the loons at my cottage.
And do I regret my Kim and Pete Forever tattoo?
Oh, and how about this?
You know, I was at Mar-a-Lago during the big FBI raid.
Im a member there.
I dont like Trumps politics, but I love his omelet station.
Theyre all over the place.
Oh, I know the Trumps.
I used to babysit the kids, for Gods sake.
I mean, he does magic.
He plays the banjo.
And yet somehow, hes famous.
Were a team now.
Were like Florida and a lower-back tattoo.
Ive learned from him that you dont need to have a pool to have a pool boy.
No, but he is really amazing.
Hes such a unique man.
You know, Steve and I are nominated.
And, you know, if I cant win, I hope he wins.
But I can win, so screw him, you know?
If I lose, Im going to send Will Smith up to slap him.
