Pam and Tommy
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The second episode ofPam & Tommyis looser than the series premiere.
Its faster and funnier.
Does it follow thatPam & Tommyis a better show in its second hour?
(I will never listen toHow Did This Get Made?the same way.)
On TV, its the spring of 1995, and Pamela is swearing off bad boys.
She has simply done her homework.
Now shes in the market for a good guy, like maybe an accountant, she insists.
Then she orders shots for the entire club because when Pamela Anderson says shots, she means for all.
On this fateful night in the annals of tabloid history, all includes Tommy Lee.
Tommy stalks across the club in Pams direction with the intensity of a cartoon depiction of a jungle cat.
Just watching Sebastian Stan makes me tired.
His performance is all energy all the time.
His eyes are always open wide like theyre too big for their sockets.
Hes able to transmit across the screen a kinetic quality that would likely bowl you over in real life.
He stands on his seat, drains a shot glass, and shouts Opa!
because Tommy is pure chaos and also Greek.
Pams updo remains immaculate.
Lily James does not lookexactlylike Pamela Anderson, but she looks nothing like Lily James.
From the get-go, Tommys pursuit of Pam is relentless.
He continuously redials her number and leaves a message every time.
But when the roses that greet her at the hotel are not from Tommy, Pams bummed.
You cant have it all.
Because guess what, youll never guess, Tommy is in Cancun.
They dont have sex, though.
They undress while standing across the room from each other.
Would you like to meet him?
Yes, I would, Pam breathes obediently.
Its too silly and embarrassing to be hot.
As is well documented, Tommy Lee has a massive penis, and Pam politely calls him beautiful.
They share a bath and touch each other.
She traces his tattoos and flicks his nipple rings; he pets her eyelashes.
Its somehow kind of sweet.
Tommys anthropomorphic penis doesnt stand a chance when he tries to dissuade his owner the only recently exMr.
Heather Locklear not to jump into holy matrimony.
Oh, to be (not especially) young and (probably not really in) love!
The lighting is hopeful, the soundtrack is Steal My Sunshine, the timeline is mostly accurate.
Still, you cant help rooting for these complete idiots.
Im going to service you for the rest of your life, Pamela tells Tommy.
They have a naked pillow fight, the TV kind where the feathers escape the pillows.
They have sex on the patio, sex in the tub, sex while spraying Champagne.
On the plane, Pam and Tommy finally start the process of getting to know each other.
Pam likes romantic films, likePretty Woman; Tommy leans horror.
Pam likes French fries best; Tommy loves french fries too.
In the car home from LAX, they decide that home will be Tommys Malibu compound.
We could renovate together, Tommy suggests warmly.
This is the other side to Stans performance and the one that sells their love story.
His Tommy has an almost boyish neediness, an uncoolness that contradicts all the tattoos.
They have so much money that they dont notice when they spend it.
The real price for the life theyll live together is their privacy.
Pam and Tommy are married, check.
Living in Malibu, check.
Rand is on the scene, check.
Isnt this exactly how people move past lust to love?
Just acting dumb together.
Its Tommy who positions it atop the TV and aims it at the bed.
