RuPauls Drag Race U.K.
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So much of the early episodes of any season ofRuPauls Drag Raceis about waiting for the inevitable to happen.
This is even worse than a queen showing up not knowing how to sew.
The idea is that theyre on stage at the YAAAAAStonbury Festival.
Oh, come on.
London has its own queer pop music festival calledMighty Hoopla.
Mighty Ru-pla wasright there.
Dakota picks Danny Beard, Le Fil, Cheddar Gorgeous, and Pixie Polite.
Because shes last, she gets to pick her own team and chooses Dakotas.
Across the workroom, Peppa and crew are like, Thank god she didnt come over here.
Its just like Oedipus being blinded by his hubris only to be blinded by his mothers brooches.
Danny Beard keeps getting scolded for saying it.
I mean, what is this?Drag Raceor an audience with the Queen?
Oh, sorry, I mean King.
Even better, Dakota bans anyone from using snatch the crown.
Just likeReal Housewivescant resist a 20s party, no drag queen can resist the lure of snatch the crown.
Meanwhile, across the workroom, the other team has called themselves Triple Threat.
This is the dumbest name ever.
Its like if Fifth Dimension or Fifth Harmony or Maroon 5 had six members.
The episode plays out as ever.
Some are great, and some suck.
Some you thought would be great suck, and some you thought would suck are great.
Tale as old as time.
A Carly Rae Jepson jam, I guess.
Then we see both groups struggling with choreography and we immediately learn who cant dance.
She couldnt even be bothered to give an entrance line when walking off the runway.
Everything is looking good for Queens of the Bone Age, though.
Pixie answers, Thats just a dress in my size.
Le Fil better, And I Oop that statement right back.
It was lovely and touching, but doesnt backstory in the early episodes usually spell doom?
Wait, they cant be sending Dakota home (though that also seems like an upcoming inevitability.)
This is a pop song, yes, but rock based.
There was an assignment, and they clearly did not understand it at all.
However, she is essentially Colin, the energy vampire fromWhat We Do In The Shadows.
How is she going to put them all together on stage?
Also, there were large gaps in their formation and the dancing was sloppy.
Meanwhile, Queens of the Bone Age comes out, and theyre all in black leather and acid green.
Ru gives all the Queens of the Bone Age a Ru Peter badge.
Who is she?Oprah infesting her audience with bees?
Theyre like theHollywood Handshakeat this point, so ubiquitous that they eventually become meaningless.
Well be on week three, and more than half of the cast already has one.
Im also sad that none of them get to stay to be tops this week.
We only get to hear about the bottoms, but for me, Starlet is no bottom.
I mean, her pink neon devil with the yellow feathers everywhere?
Iconique, which is how you spell iconic if you once owned a Lisa Frank Trapper Keeper.
I dont understand how the judges feel about the rest of the outfits.
I also dont love Peppas yellow-on-yellow big hat Diana Ross look.
We all love Tracee Ellis Rosss mother, but a good reference should not save a lackluster outfit.
Scarlet gets the harshest critiques, with Michelle saying she didnt look like she was having fun at all.
Of fun, Starlet says like a robot.
Its her and JB in the final two, and it is like theCharlie Hides lip syncall over again.
I think that the show did a disservice to Starlet by casting her.
She is one of the great queens that is not great atRuPauls Drag Race.
