RuPauls Drag Race
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Welcome back, besties!
Can the keystone of this franchise remain fresh and innovative despite the global proliferation of theDrag RaceIP?
Do our current vaccines protect against it?
We begin to answer all these questions and more in part one of season 14s Big Opening.
Alyssa HunterAs soon as Alyssa Hunter walks in, I say, Thank GOD.
After a six-season-long drought,Drag Raceis finally blessed with another Puerto Rican queen.
Alyssa has some big heels to fill, but she seems more than up to the task.
Theres much to appreciate off the bat with Alyssa.
Honorable mention: bookending every joke she makes with the phrase just kidding!!
Its charming to me.
I think Im going to start doing that.
(Just kidding!!)
Unfortunately for Alyssa, the judges dont see her merits as clearly as I do.
Well, its been one episode, so like … relax.
Alyssa escapes the bottom two this week, but its a not so solid start for the Island Gyal.
BoscoNext in is Bosco, hailing from Seattle.
Yet another damp climate that has spawned several certified drag legends.
This (sorrythe) skanky, alternative girl from Seattle is off to a good start!
But when Bosco says that shell be doing burlesque for the talent show, I suppress a sigh.
A mini-rose sticking out of your butthole?
The judges enjoy Bosco, and Lizzo goes so far as to call her a comedic genius.
I dont know about all that, but Im pleased to see that Bosco will be sticking around.
A fully-mixed and produced rap single before the season even filmed?
When did she even find the time?
Well, folx, Im a certified Kornbread Stan.
Willow PillIm obsessed with Willow Pill.
Like to the degree that RuPaul is obsessed with Willow Pill.
Willow Pill is the Tommy Girl baby tee I never had.
She is the bimbo everybody would want.
She is the Nicole Paige Brooks that everybody deserves.
I dont know a better person.
Willow walks into the werkroom in 2001 Paris Hilton-core.
), a sensible zipped up hoodie (it gets chilly in there!!!
), and a handbag.
Alyssa Hunter and Kornbread are distinctlynoton board, but Willow seems largely unphased.
For her talent, Willow pantomimes a bizarre self-care routine that culminates in bathing with a plugged-in toaster.
We have another frontrunner(?)!
Love that for her!
Beauty aside, Kerri is notably related to Miss Continental winner and drag legend Sasha Colby.
She also shares a strong bond with her L.A. sisters Kornbread and June Jambalaya.
An axis of West Coast power that should have the other girls quaking in their pleaser boots.
Im very hype for more Kerri.
Punch me in the face, queen!
But dont take her for it: the evidence is all there.
Unfortunately, also according to Kornbread, Junes taste level doesnt seem to be on par with the budget.
Lucky for us, though, June has talent in spades.
For the talent show, June performs a West African dance.
Its well-choreographed and well-executed, but as Michelle is quick to point out, it suffers in the details.
Orion StoryLast and quite possibly least, Orion Story.
Its giving … terminally online.
The joke doesnt seem to land with the queens either, so Orions entrance is greeted by crickets.
To Orions credit, shes quite the seamstress.
this queen is a combo of Willam and Violet, etc.)
But when it comes to Orions talent show performance, its hard not to see the parallels.
And by all means, steal from and copy the best: I certainly do!
And fight for her life she does, but to little avail.
The queens show up and show out to Water Me on Lizzo.
Its a solid lip-sync, and while Orion does well with it, Junes victory is decisive.
And Just Like That … we have our first elimination.
Next week we meet our final seven queens and, of course, Alicia Keys!
IntRusive Thoughts
A new weekly segment where I briefly discuss stray thoughts that wont leave my head.
RuPaul performing her new single CatwalkNurse!
But in all seriousness, shes funny, knowledgeable, and seemed truly happy to be there.
Maybe Ill give Rumors another shot.
