Southern Charm
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We learned a lot about our favorite boys in this episode.
Much to the fulfillment of my husbands fantasies, Craig doesnt wear underwear under his sweatpants.
(Im starting a GoFundMe to buy him the She By Sheree visible print line joggers.)
Just to add to the reasons why Whitney is a good catch, apparently hes hung like a bull.
Ugh, Austen, dont go making me lust over you.
His other great scene is when he goes shopping with Sheps girlfriend-at-the-time, Taylor.
That day was a few months ago, and they are as broken up as One Direction.
No one seems to be on Sheps side except for Whitney.
Sheps Raya profile comes up and Whitney doesnt think its a big deal.
He says that Shep has been loyal to Taylor for the past six or eight months.
The problem is dot dot dot, they have been dating for several years.
Here, I bought you a present.
Its a whole hamper full of Yikes!
During this whole interaction, Whitney is as much defending himself as he is defending Shep.
Hes making excuses for why Shep might not have been on Raya.
Hes trying to defend what Naomie calls scum of the earth behavior.
Hes talking about men who get really freaked out when people push them for a commitment.
Is her job getting in the way of him getting attention from her all day, every day?
Is it just because hes that much of a tone-deaf dick?
The last question should be a little more of a statement.
Um, I think theuniversehasnt given Shep any repercussions.
The crew goes on a trip, but who even is the crew?
What even is the show?
Marcie is now on maternity leave halfway through the season.
Its like she took a job as a swim instructor and then decided that she hates the water.
This has to be her last season, right?
For dinner, everyone goes to Mullet Bay and does shots immediately.
Craig orders one round with another one right behind.
If I were more clever, I would turn this into a gun joke but fuck guns, man.
How many years did you serve?
Craig asks as if slinging plastic baskets of hush puppies is being in the Marines.
I was a bartender for seven or eight years.
Did you work in food and bev?
(We were there too; honestly, it was traumatic.)
Do like Wilson Philips and hold on for one more day.
Wait until hes calm and sober to have this conversation.
Especially since the conversation is that he called her his crazy ex.
I know this is an awful trope.
I know that men should not call women crazy ever, especially when theyre acting rationally.
But this is a small offense compared to all the other things he could have said about her.
This warrants a, Hey, Leva told me you called me crazy.
Dont do that, somewhere along the weekend.
It does not warrant ruining Austen enjoying his pulled pork sandwich.
Ugh, this is all so stupid.
This is all so dumb.
Who are these people and why do we care about them?
They dont care about each other.
They dont even seem to like each other.
Heck, they dont seem to know each other.
No one is asking Venita how her week was.
Honestly, it was challenging.
Or it could mean nothing.
