Southern Charm
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It seems to be just a random collection of people, some of whom have tenuous romantic connections.
Its less of a cast than it is a speed dating event in a very small town.
Kathryn, a clump of mascara perpetually running down humanitys face, didnt even make it on the trip.
(Can we just fire her already?)
Neither did her on-again-off-again boyfriend Chleb.
Guys, this is a work event.
Youd be as fired as I hope Kathryn is.
(But seriously, what is this house?
How is all of this in this house?
Is the front door like Scooby Doos bag, it just contains a pocket universe?)
Anyway, who is left?
Thats not a slam on Marcie.
Austen and Shep react to this as if he is insane.
Austen tells him repeatedly that hes acting like a crazy person and that he has had a psychotic break.
No, Craig is the only sane person here.
Craig, do not listen to these losers.
That is the problem here.
They cant agree on reality.
Well, everyone but Whitney, who is sitting under a tree doing emails.
He is more checked out than Jack Lacey onWhite Lotusafter he found a dookie in his suitcase.
She thought if you dropped it then the game was over.
Shep is under the impression that it has to break for it to be over.
Shep freaks out, calls her an idiot, and berates her in front of the group.
He retaliates by throwing another egg at her.
Who raised this man?
Inside, Taylor tells Naomie she didnt even hear the insult because she hears them so often from Shep.
Naomie tells her the truth: This is abuse.
That is not what he did to Taylor.
He screamed at her and called her stupid over the pettiest of slights.
My husband called me stupid exactly once.
That sure stopped that behavior.
Shep goes to apologize and even fucks that up.
Taylor leaves the room and hes stuck raging at Naomie.
Im sure theres a guy who is a boring accountant and he worships the ground that you walk on.
This is what drives me crazy about Shep.
He thinks everyone is trying to change him and, well, maybe they are.
Since when does Craig make sense and know how to handle a relationship?
Its like asking Chef Boyardee to teach you how to cook.
The mind does more than boggle, it wants Spaghetti-Os with Franks.
Shep does apologize, but Im not convinced by it.
Even Taylor says she is exhausted by how often this happens.
Hello from the other side, bitch.
Craig and Austen also make up, but it doesnt make much sense.
Thats how football works, right?
Its just like the videos on Jocks4Jocks.com that I watch, right?
Austen also has a chat with Olivia, who is mystified by Austen.
Get out of there, sister.
He will fuck with you.
Remember, this is a show about awful men and the women who tolerate them.
Do what you did during the egg toss and stop tolerating these awful men.
just, we all beg of you.
Or at least get Craig to set you up with someone sane.
