Station Eleven
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The memories we suppress arent only the bad ones.
When the world is bad enough, the good memories are open wounds.
Outside the walls of Franks apartment, the world has ended.
Inside, it will have to end once more.
Look twice and adult Kirsten is wearing the same thing.
You found me again, adult Kirsten tells young Kirsten, recalling Dr. Elevens vow.
Its hard to say who or whats in charge of which rabbit holes they slip down together.
And its game enough to attempt an answer.
We immediately learn that from the beginning, Jeevans impulse was to treat Kirsten as a partner.
Maybe theyll fight each other just because theres nothing left.
But in some corner of Kristens psyche, she understands his brusqueness.
Were adults, he tells Jeevan soon after.
We pretend were not scared.
But only if theres an audience to pretend for.
Even after young Kirsten offers adult Kirsten her vial of the antidote, adult Kirsten cant stop watching.
She lets the poison progress up her arm.
The warm memories are the most brutal.
Young Kirsten and Frank readingStation Eleventogether on the floor of the closet she keeps for a bedroom.
She cant even bear to tell her younger self what terrible event awaits.
As more institutions fail healthcare, media, the Internet they don thicker layers against the cold.
Frank and Kirsten have a special connection perhaps rooted in their shared drive to create.
She tells him about her unborn brother.
He tells her about the accident that left him limping with a cane.
He was on assignment in Sri Lanka withVanity Fairwhen he stepped on a landmine.
Jeevan flew to be with him.
Siya told him to, just like she told him to go to Frank in episode one.
Kirsten needed adults, but maybe these brothers needed her, too; theyd always been a trio.
Their days are spent on individual projects.
Precocious Kirsten is writing a play.
Its no ones fault that Shangri-la cant last.
Jeevan starts talking to himself like hes talking to Siya.
More crucially, Frank and Kirsten arent done being their old selves.
Theyre not ready to live for survival alone.
What a person remembers can be wildly idiosyncratic.
Kirsten names a stray cat Luli, just like shell later name her horse.
(A name with additional significance for book people.)
Franks neighbor across the hall was Sarah, the next and last adult to offer Kirsten a home.
Its the plot ofStation Elevenreally.
Every episode isStation Eleven.
Frank reads Mirandas book, too.
The play shes been working on is Captain Lonergans death scene.
Only the death scene.
Shes been writing for over a month.
She casts Jeevan as Dr. Eleven; Frank is Lonergan.
He stares deeply into Jeevan as he delivers his monologue: Youre the only friend I ever had.
Theyre still doing the play one day too late when a stranger enters.
He wants to take possession of Franks apartment the one theyre about to leave but Frank wont let him.
The stranger stabs Frank to death, and Jeevan kills the stranger.
Frank dies in Lonergans costume, but hes Eleven, too.I found it again.
My home.Maybe everyone is each other.
Maybe she still doesnt know that Frankneverintended to leave that apartment.
Then again, Kirsten doesnt speak Spanish, like Miranda didnt, like Tyler doesnt.
Maybe theres an understanding that exists beyond language.
This is their world ending again.
Now, theyll have to do it again.Again.
Thats another word that feels like it comes from deep inside Dr. Elevens mouth.
The deeper we get into the series, the more literalStation Elevenrings.
This ode to longing gave a small set of people a framework to find meaning at civilizations frayed edge.
From this point forward, the direction of his grandfathers broken compass will control their fates.
