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Websters Dictionary definesartas skill acquired by experience, study or observation.
Let us now consider the art of the descriptive caption, as demonstrated by the seriesStranger Things.
But that Hegelian obsession with deep metaphysical truth is compelling too.
What more truthful statement about lifes eternal pain could there possibly be than [distant screaming, struggling]?
The emotional resonance of[bully 1 scoffs cruelly] is undeniable!
Here, then, are the best descriptive captions ofStranger Thingsseason four, ranked.
Otherthinkershave considered this question in terms of disgust, but not us.
Our captions will be ranked by delightfulness.
[beeping]Quotidian.
Evocative but a workaday descriptor.
[water gurgling]The association ofgurglewith water is hardly groundbreaking.
Still, it does differentiate from various other water sounds.
Andgurgleis a fun sound.
But by naming the emotion, do you undermine it?
Especially if that emotion is suspense?
Much to think about.
[jarring musical stinger plays]Cmon now, how much does the wordstingercome up in everyday speech?
[emotional aria playing]Emotional?
What kind of emotion are we talking here?
Points for the adjective, but its sloppy.
[eldritch gurgling]Showy; technically effective.
No one likes a brownnoser.
[grandiose opera music playing faintly]This ones a whole voyage.
From grandiose to faintly in one phrase?
The repetition of thatLsound fromplopintowetlyis superb.
[creatures snarling, baying]Baying!
[whoosh]Now how in the hell did this one make it into this show?
Like Superman showed up!
I should cut it from the list entirely, but actually, I love it.
[bully 1 scoffs cruelly]Couldve tapped out afterscoffs, but its that extra zhuzh withcruellythat sells it.
[distant screaming, struggling]Nothing wrong with direct and concise.
You say sinister organ music playing and I knowexactlywhat that means.
Sometimes your first thought is the best choice.
[creatures biting wetly]Lovely ambiguity going on here.
Are the creatures wet?
Is it the biting thats wet?
Are the creatures biting a wet thing?
[guitar strings sing]Absolutely.
[wet writhing]Imagine if the writhing were dry!
No, thank you.
[menacing industrial synth playing]Fascinating choice to useindustrialhere.
What does it communicate thatsynthdoes not?
So where are we getting industrial from?
I, for one, welcome our agricultural synth overlords.
[swarm trilling]YEAH THEY ARE.
[wet squelch]The pinnacle of wetness.
Basically the best possible caption for this feeling if youre forced to rule out just typing [yikes].
[dissonant gibbering]One person chanting: Mouths.
Entire audience: Mouths.
[unearthly rustling][eldritch gurgling] wants what [unearthly rustling] has.
[tense music intensifies]Perfection.
Exists outside of time or context; an ideal and unimpeachable demonstration of caption genius.
