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But thats not what were doing today.
Instead, lets dig into what really matters: how effectively the creators have hit the shows titular brief.
But are they BEASTS?
Let the highly scientific taxonomic exercise commence!
Basically, that means were looking for big ol hairy, four-legged wild animals who dont lay eggs.
Out the gate, theres some solid beast representation.
The Bull who claims hes a total nerd?
The Leopard I have zero memory of but was supposedly on this show according to my notes?
Gotta be beast.
Textbook beasts are so beast theres not much they can do to disqualify.
Take the Panda for instance.
Alas, a beast by any other name is still a beast.
The Beaver whos an ass man?
Im tempted to reconsider this one, but on principle alone, its a no.
The Mouse with a ponytail whos really into fragrance?
Cuteness is not beastness.
These babies are square in the cannot be tamed zone but fail to hit that four-footed mammal metric.
The Alien is a butthole-balls combo disguised as a head to which I refuse to give any additional attention.
Solid attempts to all!
At Least Theyre Animals?
Heres where things start to fall apart.
Lets take a quick moment to revisit the Aesop fable The Bat, the Birds, and the Beasts.
I promise its relevant.
Absolutely Not
This next taxonomic section is tough.
Although theres some rad makeup artistry happening here, were way out of beast territory.
A couple of bootlegWizard of Ozcharacters?
Yall Should Be Ashamed of Yourselves
Well, well, well.
The Troll is just a run-of-the-mill elderly lass, and the Witch?
