The Afterparty

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So what have we learned from the St. Patricks Day party?

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Well, for one, that Walt has missed his calling if hes not currently working as a superspy.

Less satisfying was seeing some of my own early-aughts style choices onscreen.

(Adorning our mammaries with the word Juicy was not the fashion slam-dunk we thought it was.)

Walt narrates the story as though hes a character in a teen house-party flick.

Its a horrifying goody bag, but, by golly, its made with love.

He knows he cant seal the deal without Shaggy (natch) and an acrostic letter-puzzle (natch?

Freshman wooers with their own vehicles are rare.

Aniqs playlist better be chock full of Shaggy bangers.

Its time for Ska-pe Diem to break up, he decrees.

Even Aniq has noticed that the musicians vibes have become too different.

Aww, did he drop his mix CD?

Jerkll just have topick it up, pick it up, pick it up!

She bonds with Xavier, whos similarly smarting from a breakup, and the two Bacardi away their troubles.

When Chelsea starts feeling nauseated, Xavier escorts her to the nearest boudoir to lie down.

Xavier really puts the ew in copulation.

The moment Zoe hears the dulcet tones of Shaggy, her lady-bits belong exclusively to Brett.

Aniq is out of the game.

Xavier mocks Aniqs bruised heart, and Aniq responds by bruising Xaviers brand new Miata with a baseball bat.

Xavier, high on rich-kid entitlement and the afterglow of his fictional sex conquests, does the very opposite.

By telling her side of things to the detectives, maybe this shorty can serve as Aniqs angel.

What song was Walt karaoke-ing?

Joans Vote for HomekillingKing: Oh, Ned for sure.

Xavier could have redeemed himself by doing a halfway accurateLegal Beagleimpression at the reunion, but no-o-o.