The Bachelorette
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Somewhere over the dusty desert of New Mexico, an aimless spirit wanders.
Unmoored from the mortal plane, untethered to reality and responsibility, the spirit cannot rest.
Because once and for all, the last memory of the spirit has vanished from our minds.
The job that specter used to do has been finally taken on by someone else.
He is free and more importantly, we are free.
Lets get to it.
The episode opens with Katie and Tayshia walking around the resort talking about the importance of hometowns.
(Was this the day production scared them by trying to trick them with a stick?
Thats not a good prank!
After a good prank, everybody is laughing.)
Because the episode opens with Katies optimism and affection for Michael, he wont be long for this world.
Michael has been telling his son hes on a work trip and hell be home soon.
Youre remarkably insightful, young James.
Michael knows what he has to do.
Michael hugs a production assistant.
He knows what he has to do … like stop trying to be coy, production.
Hes not going to see the head of catering and events.
Michael explains he cant be in two places at once and hes sensing that his son needs him.
Then he goes into the most romantic speech weve seen on the season so far.
He tells her that there are only two things that matter: love and time.
He hands her a pocket watch and tells her that they just ran out of time.
This is too much.
YOUR DAD IS FULL-ON WEEPING.
And your dad fucking believes Michael.
Katie and Michael hug and share one last kiss in the hallway, and Michael is gone.
Katie says shes sad, shes mad, and maybe her person just left.
Good evening, Bachelor Nation!
Tre is wearing a white tuxedo, so he wins the best-dressed of the night.
The Aaron/Cody fight is barely a thing.
Even though the entire premise of Instagram is, you might be famous.
Thats right, even you!
Listen, Karl is not wrong.
As much as it pains me to say hes right about this.
Karl says that Brendan just wanted a free ticket to the U.S.
There is absolutely nothing special or exciting about visiting the U.S. now.
If anything, that should prove that Brendans motives were pure.
Those are completely opposite statements that cant exist at the same time.
I do enough of those Penny Dell logic puzzles to know.
Now its time for the hot seat.
In a whole pinata?
Thats about to be a breakthrough case.
The guys all chant, Youre a tiger!
The B in Connor B. stands for Big Cat.
Andrew has time in the hot seat and Kaitlyn and Tayshia ask him about his amazing chemistry with Katie.
Its not just an open-minded white persons words or willingness to be in an interracial relationship.
Its their actions in that relationship and especially their actions when their worldview is challenged or threatened.
Also, Andrew S. says hes willing to shoulder some of the burden as a Black man.
I look forward to him being the Bachelor and ending up with a white lady.
Then its Michaels time in the hot seat.
Kaitlyn is weeping at Michaels montage.
We just saw this.
Through tears, Tayshia and Kaitlyn tell him theyre all rooting for him to find love.
He has the most compelling Bachelor case out of any of these guys.
Michael says that someones eyes are as blue as a urinal cake and honestly, thats a decent burn.
Why is this happening?
But … were just filling time at this point.
Katie has the opportunity to address the men, and she takes a pretty businesslike tone with everyone.
Thank you for your contribution to the team and we here at Katie Enterprises value and appreciate you.
She tells Michael that she had to move on so they wont be getting back together.
Katie slips up and calls Aaron Thomas.
Just what we needed.
He regrets causing any doubt in Katies journey and he wants to know why she sent him home.
When he repeats this emotional grift, should he appear more human or show his abs earlier?
Any concrete feedback would be great.
She didnt want to waste his spot and she wanted to trust the intuition she had early on.
Was it just me, or was shethe tiniest bit harshto Thomas?
Its time for bloopers, which just means footage of the guys awkwardly dancing during their downtime!
Katie doesnt have any regrets!
Only two episodes left!
Everyone really thinks that British-accent bit is very funny!
