The Bachelor
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And of course, I could just tell you if your go-to behavior is both confrontational and passive-aggressive.
I could flip through the DSM-V to find descriptions of harmful social behavior.
If youve ever voted someone out of a sleepover, you might be a Mean Girl.
Lets get to it.
This episode starts with the women having to go on their group date after Sarah has eliminated herself.
They still have to go on this group date.
Umm… that wasnt what happened?
He also says that they talked about, and I quote, a lot of stuff.
Meanwhile, the women are sitting together waiting for the group da BWA-HAHAHAHA.
I cant believe these women still have to go on this group date.
Victoria says that the trash took itself out and flips her hair.
Victoria tells her to shut up.
Katie says thats just a reflection of Victorias insecurities.
He loves being reassured by all the women he sits down with.
Have you never had to buy a silk pillowcase for a loved one?
Have you never sacrificed precious bathroom counter space to the entire Coconut Hibiscus Shea Moisture line?
Chelsea gets the group date rose.
Meanwhile, Katie and Victoria sit down because our nation needs to heal and so does the Bachelor resort.
Victoria presents her case that Katie shuts her down when shes just trying to express herself.
The way Victoria expresses herself is to call people trash, and she wants an apology.
Katie says shes not getting an apology because name-calling and expressing yourself are two different things.
Thats how slim the pickins are this season.
Victoria says, Well, you might express yourself all you want with your dildo.
You cant be serious about getting married.
Katie shouts, I LOVE MY VIBRATOR.Thatswhy she should be the Bachelorette.
Then Brittany enters the house and says, I guess they saved the best for last.
Victoria calls her a slut and whore.
Can we fucking not?
Once in the house, the other women cannot fucking handle what is happening.
Victoria asks to talk to Catalina, and Catalina innocently thinks Victoria is another pageant queen.
Instead, Victoria says, I should have that crown, and takes Catalinas crown off her head.
Anna immediately starts her campaign of misinformation about Brittany.
Theyre both from Chicago and Anna was warned via DM about Brittany.
Im from Chicago and Ive never heard of either of these women, so theres that.
Time for the rose ceremony.
Mari wins and her only prize is a golden trophy of nuts sheepishly presented by Chris Harrison.
Magi gets stuck in a pumpkin canoe in the middle of the lake!
Thats where she lives now.
At the cocktail party that night, Anna takes Matt aside to finally tell him about who she is.
She grew up in Minnesota and loves boats.
Anna says its DISRESPECTFUL for Brittany to interrupt her with Matt, even though thats just how this works!
But thats enough of an offense for Anna to let everyone know that Brittany has a terrible secret.
Lets be absolutely clear: There will be no sex-worker shaming on my watch.
Who gives a shit?
If she is, shes still worthy of love, dignity, and respect.
If she isnt, thats also totally fine and says nothing about sex workers as a group of people.
Because honestly, who wouldnt want to be a hot girl who has rich men pay for your lifestyle?
That sounds like a delight.
Brittany is stunned and rightly so.
Anna isnt doing this because she wants to find out about alternative revenue streams.
She wants to humiliate and degrade Brittany.
She would have saved some time if she just said, I heard you were a dirty whore?
I need any of these women to read a pro-sex-worker text.
Bri gets the group date rose.
She meets Matt in the woods for a Chris Harrisondesigned love scavenger hunt.
They go on a zip line.
They say they want the same number of children.
They ride in a hot-air balloon.
We learn a lot about Michelle.
Matt says again, I cant imagine what your students are going through.
(Especially because you could view his casting as a response to that very movement.)
She gets the rose.
They train in the woods for like 10 minutes and then they have to box each other.
Serena P gets her clock cleaned and Matt shuts the date down.
Who was that for?
Hes got one move and its awkward!
The new girls are cocky and they came in like they own the place!
They think they get to spend time with Matt!
Theyre ignorant and how dare they think they deserve a one-on-one date!
Katie says they should just put all of the digs aside and finally welcome them into the house.
The fuck is sportsmanship?!
Shes able to understand the complex social dynamic and shes managing the house better than Matt.
Matt says that no one is able to bully their way into his heart.
Tune in next week for more white-lady tears over facing mild social consequences for their actions!
