The Bachelor
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Maybe some of us have been longing for the mansions beige sofas and stucco-textured walls and I didnt realize?
Then its time for the first group date, which is a childs birthday party hosted by Hilary Duff.
Or why Duff would be here if this isnt her child.
(Shes here to promoteHow I Met Your Father.)
Regardless, the point is not Maya, whoever she may be.
There are two points: Cassidy hates kids, and Clayton loves kids.
Still, this is not the most subtle villain edit Ive ever seen.
In which case, its hard to blame Cassidy for pursuing her goals.
Next its the post-party group date.
Clayton is wearing a thin white hoodie under a plaid navy sports coat.
I dont know what to tell you.
Claytons response is essentially,Whatever lets make out.
This mans kissing is getting out of hand!
Im simply not going to apologize for not hanging enough streamers, says Cassidy.
Credit where credits due: Thats a decent line.
Teddi and Clayton do some chitchatting which involves Teddi already being nearly horizontal on a sofa.
But still, he gives the group-date rose to Cassidy.
Next its a one-on-one date between Clayton and Susie, and they get in a helicopter.
Maybe he could be a better Bachelor in that setting?
Instead, they go to a fancy dinner.
I tried to look her up but Google kept trying to suggest inauguration poet Amanda Gorman.
Theres a second group date where Shanae immediately distinguishes herself as basically like Cassidy but even less hinged.
The notable thing here is that the group date is hosted?
Oh, Clayton, honey.
Is there someone you’re free to ask when you get confused?
Can you phone a friend?
This is unimaginably stupid.
Yes, I did start watching the Formula 1 Netflix show recently.
Sarah gets this group-date rose.
Shanaes move, oddly, is to laugh and sayshehas ADHD, too?
Its horrible all of its horrible.
Speaking of Cassidy: Time for some producer-planted drama!
Theres a big buildup perhaps it is Cassidy who is here for the wrong reasons, not just Shanae?
Clayton, befuddled, goes up to Jesse Palmer and asks if anyones ever taken a rose back before.
This becomes the dramatic cliffhanger, which is so silly.
This should be some first-40-minutes drama, not an episode-ending jaw drop.
Without actual interesting things to consider,The Bachelorleaves the door wide open for too many other questions.
Does the franchise regret casting Clayton seeing as hesquitebad at this?
Where does Sierra get her body glitter from?
She looks like a fairy queen!
