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Julia May Jonass debut novel,Vladimir, opens with an arresting tableau.
The narrators unhinged desire ultimately leads to many revelations and transformations, not least regarding how she sees herself.
Im always interested in sex as an act of self-perception, she told me.
Theres something that appeals to me about people not having a straightforward relationship to their desire.
Are we up for Stalker?
I asked, turning to her.
OK as far as Im concerned, she said.
Put it on and lets see.
She cuddled up to me.
Does it matter if I fall asleep?
Not at all, I answered, putting my arm around her.
The table with all the small objects shaking as a train passes.
The man shaving in front of the mirror, the woman who tries to hold him back but fails.
I had never got much further than that.
Linda placed her hand on my chest and looked up at me.
I kissed her, and she closed her eyes.
We dont have any protection, she whispered.
Do you want to get it?
No, I said.
And when I came, I came inside her.
That was all I wanted.
Afterwards we lay close to each other for a long time without speaking.
Now well have another child, I said at length.
Are you ready for that?
Yes, she said.
I so relate to that idea of aspiration.
Watching this film allows him to think of himself as a certain kind of person.
Hes seeing himself in this new way, and thats what allows him to approach his wife.
How do you find what will lift you out of that for actually release into sex?
Thats whats so energizing about it.
Shes painted him in these beautiful strokes, like a Tarkovsky film.
She makes him with her perception, and he becomes that uncompromised object that then can elevate her.
We are given a lot of very straightforward scripts about what is actually sexy.
Were so much more unpredictable about sex than we think we are.
Often, there are these moments of opening where we become receptive to sex.
Take the way he jumps viewpoints.
Were watching him, he puts his arm around her, were watching them.
The dark, damp room, the table with the small objects shaking.
Its a moment of thinking about the persistence of images we can hold onto.
By doing that, hes trying to give you imagery that will energize you.
And then he feels her hand on his chest, and his viewpoint switches back to her.
By that point, it’s possible for you to feel that hes stirred.
The juxtaposition is so good.
Hes attempting to be an artist, even as the actual reality of life is fundamentally inartistic.
The sex itself is very straightforward.
Were inside his mind and theres not a lot of editorializing.
He doesnt feel particularly connected to Linda.
It actually feels like someone writing whos not necessarily fully comfortable writing about sex.
The language is purposefully removed.
Hes someone who can write forever about how Tarkovsky makes water look afresh in our eyes.
But when it comes to a physical experience, you get the sense that he cant fully connect.
Were not getting any sense of her response, for instance.
She could be moaning.
But he very rigidly sticks to what hes doing inside of the passage.
Its more about the real impossibility of truly and clearly seeing another person.
Hes inside of his experience, not reaching out for hers.
And then there are the huge consequences that come with sex.
It emerges in the darkness for us.
But it can have these immense consequences.
Its the fourth child, which really does break them by the end of this series.
But he comes inside of her so simply.
In the moment, hes taken away.
He thinks,I will have another child!Four!
They live in a very small apartment in Sweden.
The news is delivered so economically, but when you think about it, it is so reckless.
Its the human trick we cant understand how much this act is going to affect us in the moment.
The very thing hes trying to escape, he gets sucked back into.
