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Kristen Arnetts latest book,With Teeth, is about among other things a middle-aged woman seeking intimacy.
They have lost the intimacy they once shared, and the narrator can retrieve it only through memory.
Joy in the fact of pleasure, in the fact of my own relief.
It was light still forgetful afternoon, charmed hour before the coming on of evening.
I remember her legs, the smudge of green bruises, synthetic citrus smell of her underarms.
I remember the way that her hair rose static from the crown and then fell again.
I love that this scene begins with terrible sex.
Its dump the narrator wants her wife to make fun of this man.
Instead, the wife concludes the two wanted different things out of sex.
When theyre in a good place to provide that to each other, its very sexy.
Im obsessed with how we think about sex during sex.
Here, memory permeates with the present in a way that feels very human.
Time is never linear during sex.
Something sweet and then something mean.
I love when all those things sit together.
This is what Im always looking for in a good sex scene.
I want sex to be kinky but also tender, because thats how it actually works.
Im looking for the messiness of a body.
And here, the tenderness sticks out.
The sex is poignant for the narrator because, in real time, her wife is different.
They no longer have the erotic relationship she remembers.
Its a memory of when they could fulfill each other.
Its a heartbreaking memory.
They cant even sleep in the same bed.
They cant touch in this way.
And so theres so much want in this memory.
When I write sex scenes, the ache is just as important as the orgasm.
But sex, specifically, plays such a vital role in literature.
People question its role in movies and books.
But the erotic is fundamental to existence.
Sex tells us who characters are.
Plenty of people move through the day thinking of sex.
We dont need to be having sex to be thinking about it; anything might trigger a memory.
Thats a normal part of having a body.
Sex permeates everyday life at least I think it does.
Maybe Im just a pervert.
But sex is never as simple as Dim the lights; time for the old missionary position.
Because its never only happening when its happening.
I love queer sex on the page.
In all its forms.
Growing up repressing my thoughts about how I wanted to have sex, now I love writing about it.
I want to showcase different forms of queer sex.
What does fantasy look like when youre closeted?
How does sex feel at different ages?
How does it feel to have sex as a middle-aged queer woman?
This is what Ive been writing about.
We write what were obsessed about, and, surprise Im obsessed with middle-aged women!
