The Great British Baking Show

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Actually, I have come around to liking Paul, but I still reflexively think hes insufferable.

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Also, no one went home.

What is even happening this week?

Yeah, that sounds like English COVID.

Thats sort of the government policy at the moment.

Or maybe they were just sick.

Also, doesnt it seem a little early in the season for the tent to be this empty?

The first challenge is to make a pizza.

What kind of pizza?

Oh, any kind.

But know what all of these kinds of pizza are not?

Yeah, I guess it has a bread base, but its not bread, its … pizza.

Sorry, I cant do it.

I cannot think of pizza as bread.

American pizza is delicious.

English pizza is all wet, soggy, Neapolitan-style with not nearly enough toppings on it.

I dont know about all of these pies on offer, though.

Both James and my lover Sandro are putting pineapples on their pizza, which is a nonstarter for me.

Shes also using stew beef and is worried it wont be tender enough.

I have seen this show enough to know it will not be.

What is this, some kind ofSurvivorchallenge where they have to eat gross things?

Shockingly, when Paul finally tastes it he says it lacks flavor.

I dont know how that is possible considering it has about 19 different dishes on top of it.

But they say it tastes great, so I believe them.

Yes, there may be bread right there in the name, but this is a pastry.

You buy these with the croissants, pain au chocolat, and other morning treats.

That makes them a pastry.

I could excuse this, but you know an entire week of pastry is coming.

Let them make it then.

I sympathize with Kevin on this.

Was there a rainstorm?

Dont worry, Kevin is just after that.

Is this just a very talented crop of bakers or are they just especially chill?

Sandro My Darling even finishes with enough time to clean and wipe down his entire bench.

Sure, we saw some bicep earlier, but this is a flex.

As soon as the judges start going around, you could tell who is in trouble.

and that shes not using ground beef, cilantro, or other traditionally Greek flavors.

Just take the note, Dawn.

Janusz is first to the judging table and his offering looks amazing.

The judges, of course, love it.

Prue loves the filling and this basically catapults her out of the bottom.

Jamess Chinese-inspired pork dish with red sauce on the top looks cool but not appetizing.

No, thats wrong, it looks like Swamp Things turd after only eating vines for a week.

The judges say it tastes delicious, though, so she is entirely forgiven.

It is the opposite of Syabiras, which is a marvel.

The top looks like a city fromAvatar, either the James Cameron movie or the superior cartoon about airbenders.

The judges coo when they get inside to find another take on a Malaysian dish that looks great.

(Note to self: Get reservations at a Malaysian restaurant.)

My lover Sandros could be called the leaning tower of pizza, but that was the first challenge.

This time hes all about sloppy joes and meat.

Huge, giant chunks of meat that will make you salivate all night long.

Prue loves it, but Paul says it only tastes like barbecue sauce.

But I cant be mad at this show.

Some things are just so damn nice not even I can get upset about it.

You know, as long as you dont make me a cake that tastes like a sandwich.