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The Twilight Sagais blockbuster outsider art.

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TheTwilightrenaissance(Renesmeessaince?)

has put a focus on the series weird-ass lore.

The Denali Covens Sexy Succubi

TL;DR: The Denali Coven is theTwilightuniverses version of the mythical succubus.

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Tanya, Kate, and Irina were all sired by Sasha.

A tantrum can take out a whole town.

After losing their surrogate mom, the three vampire sisters fucked their way through Europe.

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Unfortunately for the human men they slept with, they tended to kill them during coitus.

Charlie Swans Dashed Hopes

Charlies backstory isnt fucked up so much as it is very, very sad.

Bellas dad was born and raised in Forks, the only child of two people well into their 40s.

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When it was time to go to college, Charlie decided to stay in town and become a cop.

He met Bellas mom Renee when she was backpacking down the coast.

She got swept up in their romance and agreed to marry Charlie.

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But she got really bad seasonal depression, which quickly compounded with postpartum depression when Bella was born.

Despite still loving Renee deeply, he didnt contest the divorce or custody arrangement.

He got to spend a few weeks per year with Bella, and Renee fucked off to Arizona.

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Shortly after their divorce was finalized, both of Charlies parents died.

So he was free to move, except now he had no reason to do so.

The twins were born in Dark Ages England and showed hella psychic potential, even as mortal children.

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They were 13, tops.

Aro rushed to the fire, turned the twin tweens, and presumably slaughtered the entire village.

But the true gag of Jane and Alec is how their trauma affected their powers.

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While dying, Jane was consumed with anger.

She wanted everyone to hurt like theyd hurt her.

So now she can psychically make people feel like theyre burning alive.

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Alec, on the other hand, wanted to feel nothing at all.

He was begging for death.

So his power is that he can turn off peoples senses.

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The worst moment of their lives became their superpowers.

This sent Alistairs dad down a freaky path of revenge.

Once the humans are gone, Astaroth is basically like, Psych!

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My name is actually George.

This demon Astaroth thing is a prank I do.

Imma turn you into a vampire now, okay?

After transforming, Alistair accidentally killed his dad in a fit of rage.

Siobhan, the Giant Woman

Siobhan was a female blacksmith living in Ireland in the 1500s.

She was also huge, stacked, body-ody-ody.

That song Giant Woman fromSteven Universe.The way Meyer writes about her is reminiscent of R. Crumb.

Are you getting the picture?

He raped her then bit her and abducted her while she was transitioning.

This is the second most fanfic-sounding backstory inTwilight,but its the one with the most sapphic undertones.

Victorias Love Story

Victoria had the power of super self-preservation.

Not only could she evade detection like a motherfucker, she had an instinct for conflict avoidance.

Victoria was born in 1550s England, the second daughter of a wealthy lord and his servant.

Her older sister, Anne, was her protector.

When Victoria was 12, she and Anne fled and started living on the streets.

After a night on the job, Anne failed to return to the brothel.

The pimp decided to confine Victoria until she learned her place, but she escaped.

She spent years on the street, stealing and hiding.

She got very, very good at hiding.

One day, the pimp saw her on the street and tried to abduct her.

Victoria evaded him, but she knew her life in the city was almost over.

Then her sister came back and seemingly hadnt aged since shed disappeared.

Spoiler alert: She was a vampire.

Anne turned Victoria and they formed a cute little coven with Annes maker Hilde.

That is until the Volturi decided they wanted Hilde and killed everyone else in the coven.

Victoria sensed trouble and got out, but Anne died.

Sometime later, the tracker James picked up her scent.

James was a sociopathic hunter who tracked and killed humans and vampires alike.

He was the perfect hunter, but she was the perfect hider.

He chased her for years … until they fell in love?

This is what Stephenie Meyer thinks is heterosexual love: one predator, one prey.

I ambeggingSteph to read theLesbian Masterdocand have a big think about comp het.

Leah Clearwaters Nightmare Breakup

Leah is the only female werewolf, maybe ever?

Before she became a werewolf, Leah was dating Sam Uley.

When he came back, he was standoffish and irritable.

Yknow, cause of the werewolf thing.

Leahs cousin Emily came for a visit, and Sam immediately imprinted on her.

So he dumped Leah and quickly got engaged to Emily without ever being able to explain why.

Thanks a lot, veil of secrecy surrounding shapeshifting!

But then Leah phased, which meant having to join Sams pack.

Did you know thatTwilightwerewolves have a telepathic link to their pack?

Its like a party line you cant turn off.

Plus, she suspects lycanthropy has made her infertile which is fate worse than death in S. Meyers eyes.

TheTwilightsagas treatment of the Quileute tribe is pretty much a disgrace.

Jasper Hale, the Confederate Empath

Jasper is anempath.

Even in life, he could feel and even influence what others were feeling.

As a vampire, this power grew exponentially.

Yeah, the Confederate vampire trope rears its ugly head.

On his way home from a battle, he was recruited into the undead lifestyle by Maria.

Jasper, super-empath that he was, felt the pain of every vampire he killed.

It bummed him out, and Maria started plotting to kill him.

Weird tangent about Jasper: Remember when we talked about S. Meyer not doing much research?

One of the few things she looked up was thenames of Confederate soldiers.

She found a Jasper and a Whitlock, and thus Jasper was born.

Why wasthisthe thing worth studying, Steph?

Alice experienced visions of the future, even as a kid.

One vision she had was of a stranger murdering her mother.

The family took precautions until dad decided it was a waste of time.

And the minute he let his guard down?

Boom, mom murdered.

The killer made it look like an accident, but Alice had a vision of the truth.

Soon after her mom died, her dad remarried a much younger chippie.

Her dad reacted to this with the classic Shes a crazy woman, LOL defense and had Alice institutionalized.

While at the mental hospital, Alice underwent so much electroshock therapy that she ended up with total amnesia.

She also met a friendly vampire who worked at the hospital.

But then Alice saw a vision of James hunting her down and killing her.

He caught her scent and went on one of his serial-killer hunts for her.

The friendly vampire turned Alice and died keeping James away while she changed.

Rosalie Hales Roaring Rampage of Revenge

What could be weirder than double amnesia?

How about sneaking the entire plot ofKill Billinto one flashback?

Rosalie was the daughter of a wealthy banking family that somehow suffered no financial difficulty during the Great Depression.

(Again, Meyer is not really one for research.)

Rosalie was betrothed to banking scion Royce King II and thought her life was all set.

However, not being saddled with an arranged vampire boyfriend freed her schedule up for revenge.

She was disgusted by the thought of any part of them being inside her.

She saved Royce for last, who was pretty freaked out by all his rapin buddies getting killed.

Rosalie found him hiding in a windowless room with a heavy, vault-like door and surrounded by bodyguards.

Wearing the dress she would have gotten married in, she busted down the door and killed everyone inside.

Were supposed to hate Rosalie, despite this incredibly badass revenge story, because shes a girly girl.

InMidnight Sun,Ed is constantly complaining about her vapid thoughts.

The girls been through a lot!

Let her think about makeup, damn.

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