The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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On this episode of our favorite show,Rich Women Doing Things, the rich women did things.
They attended a Birkin bag birthday party while mispronouncing the word Hermes.
During the party at Lisas house, Kyle sees Sutton disengaging and starts whispering, Whats wrong?
She then moves Sutton away to get a drink and presses her further.
Kyle Richards is a national treasure.
If Kathy Hilton is the MVP, Dorit is the opposite of that.
(Q: What is the anti MVP?
A: PK.Sick burn!)
on her skull because there is not a surface on her body she can leave unlabeled.
She probably has aGucciGshavedinto her pubes.
Sorry, Dorit does not have style.
There is a big difference.
But, once again, Dorit managed to add absolutely nothing to this episode.
That is the nickname she gave Sutton because she saw Crystal naked.
Sutton says its not, but she is wrong.
If you cant laugh at yourself, how in the hell are you gonna laugh at anybody else?
Can I get an Amen?
When she hears this, Sutton says, Great.
Thats what were going to start with?
She then tells us in confessional that Tomasina is not funny, and it has to stop.
In that moment, I finally understood who Sutton reminded me of: my aunt Sharon.
My mother is the oldest of nine children and she has six sisters.
(Yes, like a U2 record, I am Irish onbothsides.)
Even the younger kids picked on her because Sharon never thought it was funny.
She would get up on her high horse and tell everyone to stop picking on her.
The more she ratted, the more they made fun of her.
The more angry it made her, the more hilarious everyone else thought it was.
This is when Kyle whisks her away for an intervention that is really a storyline-generating conference.
Sutton tries to tell Kyle she wants to leave to be with her puppy.
Thats not it, Kyle says, showingUnREALhow its done.
Girl, that is the gig!
As I always say, Sutton is not made for this world.
Not only doesnt she understand the assignment, shes in the wrong damn class.
She seems to be in Remedial Home Ec when she should be in World Ferocity 101.
Kyle says in confessional, This is not the Sutton I know.
She is being very emotional and, frankly, irrational.
Not the Sutton you know?
Lady, do you even watch this here program?
She brings a chaotic Loki energy to the proceeds that I kind of love.
That is what is so weird about Sutton.
She says she needs nothing from Crystal, which is another lie.
Sutton says to her, The word violate is crazy to me.
What planet do you live on?
Crystal, without even blinking, sees where she can deliver the fatal blow: Not yours.
Then, colder than one of Ramona Singers vodka sodas, she just sort of shrugs and walks away.
But this is a show, and so I love her for this.
And in Crystals defense, this is really all shes seen of Sutton.
She has rarely seen her be calm, sweet, and generous like the other women have.
Shes mostly seen her going off the handle about stupid shit.
Then it all turns a corner.
Im sorry, but jealousy is never the reason people dont like you.
It could be because you are cold, dismissive, mean, uncaring, unyielding, or otherwise bitchy.
It could be because you once said or did something rude.
Sutton then storms out and says that shes done.
Your ugly leather pants?
Who knows what could be at the bottom?
Coyote bones, In-N-Out wrappers, the evidence to find the Black Dahlias killer, everyones common sense.
