The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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This week on our favorite show,Rich Women Doing Things, the rich women did absolutely no things.
They did not could not on a boat.
They did not could not with a float.
They did not could not with a bish.
They did not could not with a jellyfish.
They did not could not on a plane.
They did not could not in the rain.
They did do nothing, Sam I am.
They do not like Green Eggs and Ham.
So we will give this episode our full attention even though it doesnt even deserve it.
I say that because nothing happened in this entire 42 minutes without commercials.
Erika Jayne got really drunk.
Were talking falling into the bushes in Mexico drunk.
Were talking Shes starting, drunk.
Were talking falling out of a hot tub and breaking your leg drunk.
This is nothing new for a Real Housewives franchise, so it shouldnt be all that unacceptable.
This is not for an audience, though.
It was very Sonja Tremont Morgan of the John John Gstaad Updo Morgans vibes.
Kyle tells the crew, I love seeing Erika like this.
Um, no bitch.
She is blacked out.
She is titties falling out of her going out top after bottomless mimosas at Bagatelle brunch wasted.
That isnt fun for anyone.
Its like being sick with a fever and just trying to get out of the other end.
It ends with Sutton waking her up and it being time to leave.
That is the most relatable thing I have ever seen on reality television.
I take that back.
(We all like Chicken Parm, Christian!
Try something else!)
That is all that happened on that boat.
There were a few funny moments, sure.
But did this final day of the trip warrant a whole episode?
Did Glenn Close deserve to win the Oscar every time she was nominated?
Did I do that right?
What I mean to say is that it did not.
Other than Erika being really drunk, there isnt much to hang this episode on.
Speaking of Diana, the only storyline that weve seen develop in this episode is her hating Sutton.
It seems that Diana doesnt really like Sutton because she is a vegetarian who eats bacon.
She has brought this up in every single episode.
Shes obsessed with it.
I get what Diana means, though.
She thinks that Sutton contradicts herself, and she is absolutely right.
It never seems to me like Sutton is acting so much on reason than she is on vibes.
She is like a mood ring in couture Dolce.
Shes just changing color, changing tactics, changing friends.
She tells her to take her original seat.
Here we are, focusing on that since Crystal has banned the use of the word dark ever again.
Here they are on the boat bonding about being Southern.
Oh, isnt it nice?
Who can really say?
The one really illuminating moment comes when Sutton asks Erika if she feels any responsibility for Toms victims.
Does a doctors wife feel any responsibility for his patients?
Sutton says its a fair point, and it is.
Well played, Erika.
However, I dont think what people have been missing from her ever since the scandal broke is responsibility.
Tom did all the bad deeds.
I dont blame her!
I would do the same.
But she also accuses the other women of not talking about it either.
I think the thing is that there isnt much to report.
What is there to talk about?
What is there left to say other than rehashing the arguments weve made since last year.
