The Real Housewives of Beverly Hills
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This week on our favorite show,Rich Ladies Doing Things,these rich ladies did things.
But, much like Bambi, mostly the rich ladies ate fast food.
I am not going to knock anyone eating fast food, but Jack in the Box?
Is this the one highway in America without a Wendys?
Was there not a Popeyes and all of its mouth-watering biscuits within a ten-mile radius?
I know Shake Shack exists on the West Coast, could we not have found one of them?
Crystal did not get any fast food.
She was in a car with Diana and her enriched bread or whatever the fuck she was feeding her.
It was probably the Elvin bread that never goes stale that Galadriel gives to the Hobbits in Lothlorien.
(Nerd alert!)
That might be why she absolutely snaps after the opening of Kyles store.
She hates hairy feet in general andLord of the Ringsspecifically.
But to get to Crystals breaking point, we need to start with Dorits break-in, of all places.
(Wait, is that any worse than Irish car bombs?)
Shes having panic attacks and is so distressed that she cant even slather her body in labels any more.
Though I make fun, I feel awful for Dorit.
This is not the kind of drama that makes good TV.
Its the kind of drama that is so dark its like a sensory deprivation tank.
Its the kind of drama that makes us all uncomfortable.
And she can further explain that she says dumb shit when shes uncomfortable.
Does she think shes Kyle, producing the whole show?
Sutton is clumsy with her words and her behavior.
[Sutton] comes off really weird and wrong, she says.
That is her crying in the back of the van on the way to Teddis seminar.
That is her with the face roller trying to talk to Crystal on the boat.
That is her, well, all of the time.
Shes clumsy and also weird and also wrong, but I also think that Sutton is a well-meaning person.
in his Grindr profile, but maybe we can stop reacting to it?
Perhaps we can give Sutton the benefit of the doubt.
This is what brings us to bizarro-world Crystal, acting like weve never seen her before.
Whats odd is that Im not sure exactly the equivalence that Crystal is trying to make in the conversation.
Apparently, benefits and doubts are reserved for causes the women, as a unit, believe in.
I wonder what she meant by them exactly.
Is this an old-timers versus newbies divide?
(It seems like it is.)
But Crystal is right.
They told her she was not allowed to feel violated even though she did.
Crystal is not here for it.
What do you mean theres a newbies versus OGs divide?
They will listen and nod, letting her violation wash over them like the waves of a sound bath.
They will all reach out and clasp her hand and pat her shoulder and grab her knees.
