The Real Housewives of Miami
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Shes a fucking ho.
Look at her pictures, someone (I think Alexia) shouts.
Marysol pipes up, I wanna see that ho!
These are the girls that you need!
I also feel horrible for Lisa, even more so when we get the whole story.
The way she tells it, the party during which he had hishot-mic momentwas on a Saturday.
On Monday, he told her that he wanted a divorce.
By that Wednesday, he was already dating the other girl.
I dont think, at this point in the show, Lisa knew about the hot-mic moment.
(Those Birkins dont buy themselves.)
He looked no, helooks like someone who would do this to his wife.
Can I say that?
He didthatso one day he could dothis.
Money will do such loco things to you, huh?
Lisa is getting real-time updates from people on the ground.
Marina calls back with more reports.
How can Lenny even be having any fun?
How is this fun for anyone?
Julia says it would probably be her because she doesnt want to get out of her tacky pajamas.
The editors didnt even need to add in the record scratch.
They didnt need to add the crickets.
We all saw it; we all knew it.
It wasnt just what she said it was the tone.
She later tries to say, It was a compliment.
Russians are known as the best prostitutes.
Nope, that wasnt it at all.
If that is what she meant, she would have said it.
You know Russians have the best caviar and the best prostitutes.
As I said, not good, but I can see it.
No, Alexia meant it.
She meant that Russian women are hookers, and those who arent treat men like they are.
Why does she think this?
Because she saw a documentary on Netflix.
Thats what you get for watching Netflix documentaries.
On the way to a Cuban restaurant, the bus stops at a roadside food-truck situation.
Alexia apologizes for the night before, and Julia takes a moment to explain why it hurts.
This was a moment for Alexia to say, Im sorry.
I didnt know that.
Im sorry I said it.
Alexias problem is that she cannot be wrong.
Her other problem is that she cant argue in good faith.
Okay, a low blow but effective.
Other people think all Cubans are drug dealers.
Both of those assumptions suck, so lets not use them.
I think this is averygenerous read of Julias intentions, but there we are.
Alexia tells Julia that she is the only one telling the truth and everyone else is lying.
Is she the only one telling the truth about Russians being hookers?
What exactly is she right about?
She wont say, and it is not clear.
Alexia says she is grateful for that documentary because it shows a different side of her sons father.
Does she mean it shows the bad side?
Because everyone remembers the good side.
Again, totally confused.
Adriana counters with Alexia dating Todd while she was still married to her ex-husband, Herman.
What is this one of Martinas tennis matches?
You know, the usual.
She looks at the cars interior and then quickly out the windows.
There is water everywhere.
Its just an illusion.
She doesnt know where she is for a moment and is unsure of where shes going.
Its where shes safe, she thinks, as the grogginess dissipates like smoke from an extinguished candle.
