The Real Housewives of Miami
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Theres something about this show that is nice and easy.
Its as warm and relaxed as a sunny Sunday on the sand in the town where its set.
However, I need these girls to turn it up maybe one notch.
Okay, I think Im out of food metaphors.
Here, the paramedics show up, give Julia an IV, and she never gets out of bed.
Lisa cant even be bothered to go into the room.
But Lisas giving us nothing.
Adriana gets a nurse on the phone and says she needs a deathbed rescue IV at the house.
I need to know.
I call 911 for everything, she says.
Thats why Alexia is who she is.
Everything, to her, is an emergency.
Have you looked in the fridge?
Thats where it was last time.
That is the caliber of Housewife we need.
When Larsa asks her assistant how many RSVPs shes gotten, the assistant says 25.
Thats not an event, thats a classroom.
Thats a disappointing turnout at a drag show.
Thats the third meeting of a new religion that will one day become a cult.
She could only get 25 people?
Yeah, yeah, I get it, COVID and all that.
But Larsa says she doesnt want a lot of people.
She wants quality over quantity.
She wants people with a large social-media presence.
The sick burn of it all.
Its like everything has to be perfectly her way, and if its not, she shouts about it.
But then by shouting about it, shes also always wrong.
I cant describe it.
Marysol has no good response to any of these claims.
Yeah, way to just take your toys and go home.
She eventually says she is in love with Channing Tatum.
At least she didnt say Brad Pitt, but thats one boring step away.
Some of the other ladies have more interesting ideas.
I meant she didnt sleep with him because she was married at the time.
(He also replaced Tom Selleck as my moms No.
1 crush object.)
Have we considered it may be Milla Jovovich?
We dont know Larsas business, andactoris gender neutral.
Im rooting for this because this season needs a little fifth element to turn it up just a bit.
