The Real Housewives of Miami
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After this episode, I have decided to revise my field of study.
When Larsa arrives, she says, Yeah, Larsa, were talking about you.
Lisa says Larsa is implying she cant afford her lifestyle.
Larsa says she is not, though she clearly is.
These two are not …
Oh, sorry, Marysol.
We should not be fighting at Alexias non-wedding.
Lets knock this off.
(That is a joke for the gays only.
Straights, do not Google that.)
Dude, Im sorry.
Lets just take a shot and get over this.
And the boat docks, and everyone shuffles off to their homes totally shipping Frankie and Kiki.
After the wedding and before Lisa and Lennys awful home date, theres all sorts of bonkers filler.
Julia meets with a model agent named Auggie.
Never trust a grown man named Auggie unless he is the manager of a Quiznos.
(See, Lisa: Its funnier the second time around.)
Theyre going for sushi and no one wants raw fish?
It makes no sense.
The less we say about Alexia and her son, whose rapper name is Yung Doge, the better.
I mean, just eat a spicy-tuna roll already.
Okay, here we are.
They made him pizza!
He and his sister made one pizza with cheese and one with pepperoni.
(Its called dramatic irony.
Some of you never readOedipus Rexin freshman English and its showing.)
But then he finds out there is another meal for him and Lisa.
Wait, isnt their dinner the pizza?
Lisa is about to put the kids to bed, so theyve eaten already.
Who is going to eat this pizza they made?
Is it going to go in the trash?
Is this a family of food wasters?
Did Lisa just allow them to make pizza with no clue who is going to eat it?
Is she just like, 30 people work here.
Someone will want pizza.
The fate of these two pies is boggling to me.
Anyway, poor Jax.
What about the dog?
Dont you want to spare this dog who cant even fucking walk?
I think there is a time to put the dog down, and sadly, that time is now.
I dont want to be callous about peoples pets.
He says, She doesnt know what a home-equity line of credit is.
Thats pretty embarrassing for her.
It was like, Sorry about the inconvenience someone is dying.
Like, couldnt the help sort her out on their own?
Thats why theyre called the help.
Theyre supposed, you know, to help!
Lisa wants to call 911 to have her taken care of, and Lenny tells her no.
He says that they dont need an ambulance, that someone just needs to drive her to the hospital.
Lenny is obviously right here.
I once had a collapsed lung and took a cab to the hospital.
Unless it is life-threatening, an ambulance is not needed.
But Lisa isnt reacting to the medical necessities of the injury; shes reacting to the perception.
She cant figure out who should drive her to the ER.
She cant figure out how to get an Uber for her.
Maybe its because she doesnt want to lean on Lenny, as Larsa keeps accusing her of doing.
Meanwhile, we dont even see the nanny, and no one is talking to her.
Most important, no one is even asking if she has health insurance.
Is that because Lisa provides it for her and already knows?
