The Real Housewives of Miami
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Yes, Dr. Nicole, we get it that your mother was poor.
Yes, Larsa, we know that you and Scotty still havent finalized your divorce.
Yes, Lisa, we know that you look pretty in gold fringes.
But, in the immortal words of Janet Jackson, what have you done for melate-ly.
Everyone has a great individual story, but they dont have stories with each other.
They dont have an interaction or conflict that seems worthwhile.
Can we get to that, hey?
Starting with Alexia, we endedthe last episodewith her about to meet Bleep, her dead husbands gay ex-lover.
But Alexia had to wait for an hour to learn this lesson.
She doesnt deserve Fendi!
But you know what?
Let Larsa spend however much of her money on her only daughter as she wants.
Dont want them because, as displayed, theyre only going to break and make your life more difficult.
No one really wants to live in a 79 QuestionsVoguevideo.
We just want to watch them.
Hes raising the boys, and shes raising the girl on nothing but Fendi shorts and Fiji water.
What they need is a modern arrangement.
Stay married, but let each other have the freedom to do what they want.
The two of them can make up the rules.
Im in a giving mood amnesty for everyone.
Just looking at Adriana wont let you get a word in edgewise.
Adriana says shes been there so many times she doesnt need a tour, but she goes anyway.
(But seriously, dont wear Allbirds.
When Adriana arrives, she says she is already underwhelmed by what Guerdy has done to the place.
I mean, it looks fine.
What do you want from a professional party planner who is doing some work for free?
She did the best that she could and more than it deserved.
And, frankly, this place looks way too nice for a home that surely smells like a barnyard.
No amount of Party City decor will cover up the smell.
Julia is super pleased with it, though.
(This did not happen, but it could have.)
Guerdy, instead, stays put.
And good for her.
Adriana has been doing that for four seasons now, making her a great Housewife but a horrible person.
It seems like its that sort of thing where she hates Guerdy because she sees herself in her.
