The Real Housewives of Miami
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Larsa Pippen has entered the M-er F-er chat.
It only took her 12 episodes, but finally she gives us all that weve been hoping for.
I didnt get the memo on black, she says.
Its like you dont have to tell someone not to bring steak to a vegan potluck.
These two very different things show how random this final episode of the essentially rebooted series is.
No attorney who advertises on a billboard could get you enough for all of this whiplash.
I could break you down in two seconds, Larsa says.
Im sorry youre tacky.
Im sorry youre bipolar.
Youre an alcoholic; every time Ive seen you, youve been drunk.
You must have bad vision as you got older because you started dressing like a clown.
Adriana then says at least she doesnt sell her feet pictures for $5 a pop.
Um, its more like $15.
I know.I bought some.Larsa replies, Maybe you should.
Im not saying that she is being kind.
Im not saying she is right.
Where has this Larsa been hiding?
(This is coming back, right?
It has to, right?)
Larsa then removes herself from the conversation.
It is only 11.
Where did she go?
Did she go upstairs to her room?
Did she go home?
I have no clue, but the girls get in their pajamas and hang out in Alexias room.
(I could do without his light-up scrunchie, but I will allow it.)
Adriana may speak five languages, but she doesnt know the wordironyin any of them.
What this fight really comes down to is a fight about the show.
When Larsa was fired after season one, Adriana thought she won.
How do you say boo-freaking-hoo in Portuguese, Adriana?
The rest of the episode is essentially about Alexia and her family.
She eventually died on the day that Alexia was supposed to get married.
That really does in the shows finale party.
She accepts responsibility, and they vow to move forward.
We hate to see it.
Theres really not much you might say about Alexias funeral for her mother.
It is all genuinely sad and hard to make jokes about or do anything other than cry.
Also, she was a cougar before it was cool.
But the Miami women wouldnt do that anyway.
Yeah, we had some fights and some drama, but it was all so nice and light.
They never got too mired in the muck like the ladies in Potomac.
They werent weighted down with crimes like Beverly Hills and Salt Lake City.
They werent stuck with the boredom of trapping the women in Ramonas Hamptons house like in New York.
This was nice and fun and breezy.
