The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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Are we still in Lake George?
Are we still talking about this Jackie-and-Teresa fight?
Mamma mia, Pappa pia,buy two and the third is free-a.
(RIP, Screech.)
It is a fantasy I am very into.
He is just all gray hair, blue eyes, and sweaty pecs.
How is a middle-aged man that stacked?
Teresa doesnt want to hit it, though, because hes a friend.
Is Lexi a friend of this season, or is she just the hired help?
Did Margaret just convince Bravo to give her assistant a paycheck?
If she did, that is the best coup I have ever seen.
But I dont want to talk about whats said at dinner, which was boring and repetitious.
I would rather talk about their dinner.
The chef starts them off with a ciabatta roll.
Did you know ciabatta wasnt invented until the 80s and didntcome to the U.S. until 1987?
I was in the third grade.
How am I older than a pop in of bread?
My mind is more blown than Tony would be if I were his lifelong friend instead of Teresa.
Jennifers reaction in confessional: I would never say that out loud, nonetheless put it in a book.
Some things you take to the grave.
Yeah, that isexactly the problem.
This party is where the rumors about Evan started, too.
Exactly which restaurant did they set up a tent in the back parking lot of?
The Making Shit Up Cafe?
Teresas response: Well, she didnt say it to me.
Oh, so as long as no one is spreading the rumor to her, then its okay?
Okay, that makes sense.
I mean, I dont know.
Michelle walks in dressed in Fox News co-anchor cosplay: tight blazer, tighter hair, and vacant eyes.
But Michelle agrees with Teresa, so well have to see how this plays out.
The scene of Teresa and Michelle walking around her house is actually quite moving.
No, wait, they skipped that.
There is something permanent about this house.
Weve seen every nook and cranny.
Teresa was probably walking around wondering,Is my phone charged enough for three more selfies this afternoon?
This episode has just enough juice for one last party.
She wants to get everyone who is close to us together so he can celebrate again.
Um, everyone who is close to you is just … the cast of the show.
We know Jackie hates giving BJs and planning parties, but this is anemic even by her standards.
As everyone arrives in couples, Dolores shows up with Frank instead of her boyfriend, David.
She calls him her G-usband.
All right, which of you homosexuals told Dolores that is a thing?
Why did you pull a mean trick on her?
Did you also tell her a dash of poppers will make her martinis stronger?
Are you just clowning this woman?
No gay has ever said G-usband.
Kenworthymy gus-band, and I have said hus-bear ironically.
Id rather spend another three weeks in Lake George.
She tells Joe Gorga how destructive she thinks it is.
(Yeah, lets see how that goes.)
They dont know this is a fundraiser for the Manzo Project and the antiTeresa Giudice super-PAC.
(Where can I donate?)
Then Jackie had to get up and make a toast in front of the group.
Um, at a dinner for nine?
Nothing else needs to be said.
Stop soaking in it like a cigarette butt left in a red Solo cup of half-drunk beer.
Yes, what Teresa did was destructive.
Yes, as Evan said, this bell can never be unrung.
