The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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[Ding, ding.]
It is, in fact, a hate crime.
That is enshrined in the state constitution, which was written in 2011 by Nicole Snooki Polizzi.
The very fate of Melissas pink party the next day.
We sure hope not.
Melissa and her friends accuse Jennifer of grabbing her wrist.
Jennifer and her Suicide Squad (Teresa is King Shark) say Melissa charged her and Jennifer defended herself.
We have gone back to the slo-mo footage and decided it is too close to call.
Jennifer says that by telling everyone that Bill cheated on her, Margaret did something cruel to her.
I see Margarets point, but I still dont feel it in my bibbidi-bones.
Jen can still love her man and hate cheating.
Jennifer accuses Jackie of being two-faced and turning on her so quickly.
Do I even need to tell you?
No, I do not, but strap in and strap on since it is literally my job.
That is not how this works.
She made herself into someone the press loves, and they went digging for a story and found one.
It came up because everyone saw it, and its weird.
Teresa sees this as talking shit and gossiping.
She doesnt think that Luis should have to address the video because …
I dont know, shes stupid.
Melissa says shes being protective of him and that hes new to all this, meaning the show.
I dont know thats it.
I think that this is a power move.
Sorry, but by dating Teresa, a public figure, he did for sure sign up for this.
(I also bet he cashed the check that Bravo pays all of the husbands onRHONJ.)
She knows how this game works.
Ignoring the video is going to make it worse.
Not talking about it will make everyone talk about it more and make it worse.
Not letting Luis address the topic in his own words will make it worse.
And saying you hate people who gossip?
No, we dont.
(Thats like a butt-crack, but on your face.)
That makes no sense.
Caesar Milan the Housewife Whisperer?
He also tells Marge, Not on your best day am I intimidated by you.
Dude, shes not trying to intimidate you.
Shes trying tohelp youbut letting you talk about this crazy-ass video.
He was hurting her feelings, and he needed to be a big enough person to do that.
He broke up with her through this video [dot, dot, dot] by proposing to her?
By talking about their future?
How is he going to be better for her?
The next morning, Jennifer is upset he didnt defend her.
Um, didnt she just get mad at Joe Gorga for getting into the womens business?
Also, hes trying to deal with everyone in the country knowing about his infidelity.
She doesnt like that.
