The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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Lets start at the very beginning, as a Nazi-hating former nun with a lesbian haircut once said.
I did not know that such a thing even existed.
Is this just a New Jersey thing?
Can it be found elsewhere?
All I know is I want to live there.
No, not in the place where you could buy this in the actual bowl itself.
At the very least,Marge and Joe B. should market Cannoli Bowl as a breakfast cereal.
Why not Cannoli Bowl?
What, exactly, needs to be continued?
There werent any fights started at the tea.
It seemed mostly like a fun and civil gathering of the women at Jens house.
One day it and Villa Rosa will have children and they will all be Duty Free stores.
What else could possibly happen at this party?
The episode overall is a little bit of a snooze.
I mean, yawn.
Anyone with an internet web app and a search history hasread all about the guy already.
How much Melissa knew about him and when she told people are the least of our worries.
Guys, we freakin hate Emily.
She has ghostwritten memoirs forReal Housewivesand owns a yacht in my home state of Connecticut.
What am I doing wrong wrong?
Do I hate Emily, or do I hate myself for not being Emily?
What happens afterward is sort of ridiculous.
Jennifer then says that if Margaret doesnt like the music, change the channel.
God, it really pains me to say this, but Jennifer is totally right here.
She isnt beholden to Margaret or anyone in how she presents herself on social media.
Does Margaret not understand how Twitter mobs work?
Jennifer is being real and Margaret, shes just chasing clout.
This is mostly an episode about mothers and daughters, though.
We see Teresa talk to Gia and Melania about her and her father dating.
We see Dolores talk to her daughter Frankie … oh.
The best mother-daughter talk, though, is between Melissa and Antonia.
Are you still with your boyfriend?
Melissa asks as a way of an opening salvo.
Have you had sex yet?
I already knew that because your cousins told me.
Why are you asking my cousins about me?
Yes, this is going delightfully off the rails.
Antonia keeps shouting some iteration of Stop!
Its the most hilariously obvious, cringingly accurate depiction of what these interactions must be like.
She opened TikTok and made a little video of herself sitting there in the near darkness of the toilet.
When my mom tried to talk to me about sex on-camera, she wrote in text over the video.
But what song would she use as the soundtrack?
What could possibly encompass something that one day she will rue looking back on.
She knew just the thing.
Wakin up in the morning, thinking about oh so many things …
