The Real Housewives of New Jersey
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But before she can ring it in, he screams after her, Scooped!
It is, not to put it too harshly, an international war crime.
Why even bother having a bagel if you dont want to eat the best part?
How do the Jewish people, who invented bagels, even allow this to occur?
Cant they take this up with the U.N. Security Council?
The Joe and Melissa fight starts in the dumbest of ways.
Youve turned into this independent businesswoman.
Melissa accuses him of being too needy.
He tells her if she keeps talking, hes never going to talk to her again.
This is the kind of drunk fight that many couples have on the way home from a too-boozy dinner.
He thinks they should spend all of their time together and that he should totally support his wife.
This is sort of two different arguments.
If any family should know about the ravages of reality stardom it should be the Gorga/Giudices.
Melissas argument, to me, makes a lot more sense.
That made her feel like he wouldnt cheat on her, like her father did to her mother.
But she says that shes different now.
Shes not that 24-year-old girl he married.
Shes right, we all change, we all evolve.
When she says that a marriage is work, this is what she means.
A long-term relationship is really meeting each other over and over again as life keeps changing each of you.
Joe cant think of their union like some sort of non-eroding stone, a monolith to their romance.
Being obstinate will leave you stuck and eventually alone as the world tumbles on without you.
The next morning the pair of them are sitting in the kitchen waiting for their donut delivery.
This is a therapy discussion.
Get these two on someones couch and let them drag this relationship on to the next stage.
We see this in two little vignettes.
Finally Joe Benigno says, We get it.
Its just a little thing we have to work through.
Wait, did Joe B just say that Joe has a small dick?
Is that the little thing Melissa worked through?
In his confessional, he says, She called back Realtor Gizelle.
You know what that shows me?
Okay, that is some rotten truffle mac-and-cheese right there.
How does your wife being pissed thinking that you could be having an affair prove her loyalty to you?
She thinks youre sketchy enough that you might actually be screwing some Realtor named Gizelle.
Nope, this was a whole deal with a caterer and flowers and a bartender.
Its actually as boss asBoss Baby, which is less boss than Springsteen and more boss than Hugo.
Little Frankie Catania also shows up with his arms absolutely torturing the sleeves of a white polo shirt.
I need a minute to, uh, scoop out my bagel.
Its a nice gesture so I cant even hate on it.
She talks about how Nonno is her best friend and how he lit up every room.
