The Real Housewives of Orange County
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Its not even exciting.
She doesnt, like, throw a plate or cuss someone out.
This is a pretty boring episode all around, mostly because it is sort of likeHeather Fix My Life.
Dubrow is a lot of things, but do not get it twisted, she is no Iyanla.
Does she consider her house a boutique?
Is there a gift shop?
Oh, that prom dress.
Everything is centered around how amazing and perfect Heather is, and I find it very tiring.
Before dinner, we have to dispatch with all the other womens storylines.
Noella visits her friend, Fake Joanna Krupa, and they sit by the pool and drink Champagne.
We learn that Noella had mediation with her ex-husband, but they werent in the same room.
He wasnt in the same building.
But after money and the kid, what else do they need to go through?
Did Noella want to sort through their entire vinyl collection and decide who gets what?
Oh, not vinyl records.
Vinyl gimp outfits from the playroom.
Emily has her daughters Mormon baptism and a party.
She keeps calling him a good man, which must do great things for his libido.
Nothing gets you hornier than being told youre a great man.
But Shane doesnt need it.
Ugh, this is what I hate about Heather.
Just imagine if she actually tried.
Um, the point of loafers is that you dont have to wear socks.
If Ryne is complaining about wearing shoes, why doesnt he just not wear socks?
Or get some chic sandals.
Thats what I dont get about him; there is contempt behind everything he does.
He doesnt want to wear a shirt or shoes, and he doesnt have to most of the time.
But hes an adult.
He knows he will occasionally have to go to shit like this.
Why not find an outfit that is classy that he also finds comfortable?
Yeah, there are lots of dumb rules, but he can find himself within that structure.
We see the same contempt at the dinner table.
Heather asks how they met, and Dr. Jen tells the story.
Then she asks Ryne his side, and he says, Well just go with what she said.
Heather then goes through all of these gymnastics to draw him out.
Your hostess is making an effort here; dont make her look like a fool in her own house.
Hes like a petulant teenager who doesnt want to behave like a grown-up.
I cant tell where this contempt comes from.
From his earlier spat with Jen, I think it has something to do with the show.
It seems like he is only here begrudgingly.
Yeah, I think Ryne was roped into this and doesnt want to play ball.
In that case, dont show up for this.
Dont film at all.
This is not helping him or his brand.
He could also just be annoyed that Jen seems to be on him like beige on quinoa.
Shes also drunk and annoying, particularly because Ryne is sober.
Maybe its just one thing; maybe its all of these things.
I dont know, but their blandly unhappy marriage is the last thing I want to watch.
These two just seem like a John Updike novel without any of the good parts.
