The Real Housewives of Salt Lake City
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Whitneys like, Pass the conch, Lisa says, and pass the conch we do.
So did you make up what you said in the rant?
a producer asks Lisa in a confessional.
No, she firmly responds without missing a beat.
Jen thankfully jolts us out of this hellish argument carousel by being like,Hello, remember me?
The next morning, were awoken by the soothing sounds of notorious prop comic Jen Shah using a megaphone.
My megaphone; thatll be fun.
Now, this might sound severe, but I think its time that Bravo bans glam squads.
The novelty has worn off, and this has gotten completely out of control.
During this chat Heather continues to have a go at broker peace in the war-torn house.
and pours her entire drink out on Lisa.
So, covered in wine, they arrive at the rodeo.
I love how her mind works.
Theyre really just gathered in the kitchen to cook dinner in their underwear.
Well, technically Lisas just wearing full-length pajamas like shes on board the Polar Express.
Apparently Whitney is so sick of being the messenger, that she … decides to be the messenger?
We can only assume that the boxed rose entered her bloodstream through her vagina, amplifying its effects.
She tells Lisa that Meredith has been spreading rumors.
Retaliation is a fucking bitch, Lisa exclaims.
Whitney tells her about the Jazz tickets, and chaos erupts.
It didnt stop Mary M. Cosby.
In the midst of this, we check in with Heathers confessional for commentary: Blowies for Jazz tickets?
I mean, thats a stretch, its not like you were courtside for the Lakers.
Courtside at the Jazz … you dont have to get on your knees for that.
They should let Heather do confessionals on all Bravo shows, not just the ones shes on.
Five would obviously be too many, three too few!
But Heather chimes in to say, so what if Lisaisa whore?
I didnt hear thatfucking nugget, she screams.
If I had I would have fucked him too because I love sitting courtside!
The episode ends with a beautiful exchange.
Heather yells at Whitney for calling her a liar.
I love to be fucked, Whitney responds.
